Let you go~

Meaningless hours pass by
As I stare in the face of reality
Asking myself over and over again,
Should I just let it go?

As the pain of knowing that
you'll never come back again
hits me in the face
I think I should just let you go
Let my grasp loose
And my heart left to shatter.


I was browsing on videos of trumpet players with braces on youtube..

I heard that after you removed the braces, it helps lots in improving tone and also in expanding your upper register.. Hmm, I really hope so. I don't want to be stuck with some crap tone after removing these buggers on my teeth, furthermore after having it on for 2 1/2 years!

For now, I need to work more on playing without putting too much pressure and strain on my lips. Its pretty hard when you have these metal things stuck on your teeth and try to blow as freely as you did without braces on. From 1st chair in school, I could easily drop to a 3rd chair soon if my playing still sucks so bad.

I don't really like to use the wax my orthodontist prescribed on the braces, though it does ease the pain abit, its just another foreign object that doesn't really belong there in my mouth. I can't pitch any high notes without straining and the worst thing is that I can't buzz as how I used to before getting braces.

Well, I hope after I've gotten them removed in 2 1/2 years time, I'd be able to play better. For now, I'd just have to compromise with what I have I guess, and also to work on my tone & pitching.


Am currently listening to American Elegy... Very emotional piece..
Amazing what music can do to one's emotions.

Suddenly, I remember all the past memories of band with all our seniors still playing with the band in 2006.. Not much to remember, considering the fact that the trumpet section(my section) seniors all didn't really take me in as a junior. They didn't even treat me as a junior, hell. They used me like a servant.

I had to learn all the fingerings for trumpet myself.. But how I enjoyed playing each and every note, trying to make it sound more perfect every time, and putting my heart & all my soul I played.. It was so wonderful. But thats all left in the past. Now with braces on, whats there to play, I can't even pitch high C decently..


Yeah, its the new year! Ok its past the new year already, I know.
Bring on the festive cheers!
:D

I had a blast at the Zhenghua Sec band concert Symphonie D'Harmonie, to mention some of the holiday highlights. Hmm, nothing of much significance happened. Oh yeah, I just got braces fixed on. Stupid wired things. Keep ruining my pitching. Can't play my trumpet properly now.. Will have to work a million times harder with these wired obstructions in the way of my playing.

Hmm, I tried pitching high C(the one NOT above the staff) and I couldn't get an even tone. CRAP. So I tried one note down, B, also sound very shitty. Grr. At that point I was getting so frustrated I felt like throwing my trumpet somewhere in a dark corner and stash it away forever. Oh the horror. 3 years of freaking hard work trying to sound at the least decent, as a trumpeter, all gone with the wind.

My pitching's all over the place and my tone sounds like I've just started playing the trumpet less than a day. Pure crappy tone. And when I played the trumpet, it felt like my gums were going to bleed, especially my lips, they felt like they were being cut by the wire. ZZZ. This is the tough price to pay for betraying yourself; for betraying your own passion. Oh God.. I deserve hell.

On 31st Dec, whilst everyone is celebrating, I sit in the corner of my room. Watching the countdown party. *sighs* Suddenly I start thinking about what he was doing.. It feels lonely today.. Especially 'cause I just saw him yesterday, wishing he could be with me forever. *sigh sigh*

I really really don't know what made me so charmed by you.. OMG I'm sorry for being so quiet when you're around, its just that you charm me with every little thing you do. *sigh*





Oops, I forgot to update about band camp day two. Here it goes..





Today at band practice, a particularly significant event happened...

Here's the whole story, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

Before we start band practice, everyone has to take their instruments from the band store room, the percussionists need to take it from the band room, so we asked for the key to the band room from our teacher-in-charge, Mrs Raj. So Kasmani took it, and passed it to me. After this event happened, he claims that he told me to NOT pass the key to anyone else. I don't even remember a single thing about him saying that to me.

Anyway, I went up to the band room and gave the key to our percussionists, Haszrul and Ammar.

*In the bustle of everyone taking their instruments out*
"Oi! Where's the band room key?" [Haszrul asks Ammar]
"How would I know!" [Ammar]

So the percussionists searched everywhere for it, and still couldn't find the key after 20 mins+ of search.

"Percussion do you know where's the band room key?" [Kasmani]

Now, we see clearly that Kasmani was asking the percussionists first and not me about where the band room key was. What happened to his claim of asking me not to pass it to anyone else? He is obviously caught red-handed here, if he claims that he told me not to pass it to anyone beforehand, then he should know better that the key was with me and not ask the percussionists. Anyway, I already passed it to the percussionists and now the key is missing.

*Search high and low, in band room, band store room*

"Alamak!! The key is with me all along." [Umairah]