Confessions of a trumpet player

Let you go

2009-01-26T07:50:00.000-08:00

Let you go~

Meaningless hours pass by
As I stare in the face of reality
Asking myself over and over again,
Should I just let it go?

As the pain of knowing that
you'll never come back again
hits me in the face
I think I should just let you go
Let my grasp loose
And my heart left to shatter.

Yay, 101st post!

2009-01-17T22:00:00.000-08:00

I was browsing on videos of trumpet players with braces on youtube..

I heard that after you removed the braces, it helps lots in improving tone and also in expanding your upper register.. Hmm, I really hope so. I don't want to be stuck with some crap tone after removing these buggers on my teeth, furthermore after having it on for 2 1/2 years!

For now, I need to work more on playing without putting too much pressure and strain on my lips. Its pretty hard when you have these metal things stuck on your teeth and try to blow as freely as you did without braces on. From 1st chair in school, I could easily drop to a 3rd chair soon if my playing still sucks so bad.

I don't really like to use the wax my orthodontist prescribed on the braces, though it does ease the pain abit, its just another foreign object that doesn't really belong there in my mouth. I can't pitch any high notes without straining and the worst thing is that I can't buzz as how I used to before getting braces.

Well, I hope after I've gotten them removed in 2 1/2 years time, I'd be able to play better. For now, I'd just have to compromise with what I have I guess, and also to work on my tone & pitching.

Listening to American Elegy...

2009-01-15T07:27:00.000-08:00

Am currently listening to American Elegy... Very emotional piece..
Amazing what music can do to one's emotions.

Suddenly, I remember all the past memories of band with all our seniors still playing with the band in 2006.. Not much to remember, considering the fact that the trumpet section(my section) seniors all didn't really take me in as a junior. They didn't even treat me as a junior, hell. They used me like a servant.

I had to learn all the fingerings for trumpet myself.. But how I enjoyed playing each and every note, trying to make it sound more perfect every time, and putting my heart & all my soul I played.. It was so wonderful. But thats all left in the past. Now with braces on, whats there to play, I can't even pitch high C decently..

Go crazy

2009-01-04T23:55:00.000-08:00

Yeah, its the new year! Ok its past the new year already, I know.
Bring on the festive cheers!
:D

I had a blast at the Zhenghua Sec band concert Symphonie D'Harmonie, to mention some of the holiday highlights. Hmm, nothing of much significance happened. Oh yeah, I just got braces fixed on. Stupid wired things. Keep ruining my pitching. Can't play my trumpet properly now.. Will have to work a million times harder with these wired obstructions in the way of my playing.

Hmm, I tried pitching high C(the one NOT above the staff) and I couldn't get an even tone. CRAP. So I tried one note down, B, also sound very shitty. Grr. At that point I was getting so frustrated I felt like throwing my trumpet somewhere in a dark corner and stash it away forever. Oh the horror. 3 years of freaking hard work trying to sound at the least decent, as a trumpeter, all gone with the wind.

My pitching's all over the place and my tone sounds like I've just started playing the trumpet less than a day. Pure crappy tone. And when I played the trumpet, it felt like my gums were going to bleed, especially my lips, they felt like they were being cut by the wire. ZZZ. This is the tough price to pay for betraying yourself; for betraying your own passion. Oh God.. I deserve hell.

On 31st Dec, whilst everyone is celebrating, I sit in the corner of my room. Watching the countdown party. *sighs* Suddenly I start thinking about what he was doing.. It feels lonely today.. Especially 'cause I just saw him yesterday, wishing he could be with me forever. *sigh sigh*

I really really don't know what made me so charmed by you.. OMG I'm sorry for being so quiet when you're around, its just that you charm me with every little thing you do. *sigh*

I need a concert buddy!

2008-11-28T04:13:00.000-08:00

I JUST EXTRACTED 2 TEETH ON MY LEFT AND JUST HAD MOLAR BANDS PUT ON! ouch.

Crap, the left side of my mouth hurts so bad. After the bleeding stopped, I rinsed and tried eating.. okay, still can eat. Then I tried playing my trumpet.. *insert HUGE sigh of relief here* luckily I still could play as well as I did before the molar bands were put on!

I'm so happy I still can play my trumpet.. :)

Esctatic!

LOL. I hope even after the braces are put on, I still can play as well.

BTW, FYI, there's a band concert coming up soon on the 4th of December at Hwa Chong Institution's auditorium. I heard they'll be playing Machu Picchu as one the repertoire pieces. OMG! I love that piece!

I heard from Weijie that tix are about $6 each.. I think I'm going! Anyone else wanna come?

Oh there's another concert at NTU, Nanyang Auditorium on the 27th of December, 5pm by the NIE Symphonic Band.

Its called OPUS 33.2 "Lights, Camera, Action! 2". I think its gonna be super duper fun!

The tix are sold at $5 each.

There's yet ANOTHER concert by Zhenghua Secondary, Symphonie D' Harmonie on 27th December at the Singapore Conference Hall. I already bought the tix to this one 'cos my NCO friend's playing in this concert. Gonna be a blast I tell you!

So many concerts to go so little time! I need a concert buddy, so whenever there's a concert we can go together and appreciate the wonders of music. Hell yeah!

...IN THE SEARCH FOR A SUITABLE CONCERT BUDDY...

BAND CAMP DAY 2 :D

2008-11-27T04:02:00.000-08:00

Oops, I forgot to update about band camp day two. Here it goes..

BAND CAMP DAY 2

Started pretty okay at first.. Everyone came on time except Angeline.. Kasmani asked me to tune his saxophone.. So I went around and tuned everyone's instruments, except mine, 'cos just as I was about to tune mine, Mr Ed came. What a difference one day of no tuning makes.. My instrument sounded remarkably flat, and I had to push in my tuning slide a bit. Don't know whats wrong with my trumpet that day, usually its fine with or without tuning. Maybe its just my embouchure?

Anyway, we had warm-ups, playing usual stuff like long tones and slurs. I'm bad at slurs, need to work on it more.. Then we went for breakfast. I didn't eat breakfast, couldn't even if I wanted to, my teeth hurt 'cos I just extracted 2 teeth from my right side just a few days ago. So I just sat there and watched people eat. Very fascinating. LOL. Suhashini was like "Eh why you not eating?" Haha, and my reply was "I don't need to eat, I can live on plain water and music".

Next was theory, Mr Khoo was taking us for theory lessons. So he revised stuff he taught yesterday and got angry a couple of times over us not getting the rhythms right although he already taught us like just 24 hours ago. Then he started to test us with rhythm patterns and stuff, thats where I had lots of wrong answers and got scolded for not knowing simple stuff like rhythm patterns when I'm a band major. I was fine with that, anyway, he had a pretty good reason to scold me like that, I'm a leader in the band, so I'm supposed to be familiar with stuff like rhythm.

I'm okay with him scolding, its not as if he's scolding us for no reason. 'Cos behind all that harsh scolding, I know somehow, Mr Khoo is doing this to help our band advance to a higher level, rather than giving up on us.

After that, we went for sectionals, if I'm not wrong.. Which was quite fun 'cos we(the brasses) went to the choir room for sectional practice. Haha, it was DAMN FUN I tell you. We practised the Developing Band Clinic tone and technique stuff over and over and over again. Then I went like crazy over playing the triplets and sat down under the choir room table and played the triplets which was super fun 'cos I had a chance to put my tonguing to the test, haha, wish you were there to see!

The rest of the day followed, no notable events took place. Oh ya! Mr Chng came into the band room today. I know a bit about him, like, he's the conductor of Bedok Town Military Band and that he has a grade 8 in trumpet. He's from Manjusri Secondary military band, playing trumpet and joined the Moulmein Wind Ensemble, later appointed as chairman of the ensemble in 1998. I guess Mr Xaven Chng and Mr Ed have known each other for quite a long time, because they were talking away so happily, as if reminiscing old times.

Anyway, to sum it up, I think day 2 is wayyy better than day 1. Day 1 was quite messy in terms of events and timing.. Day 2 was fun fun fun all the way!

Band Camp incident.

2008-11-24T05:05:00.000-08:00

Today at band practice, a particularly significant event happened...

Here's the whole story, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

Before we start band practice, everyone has to take their instruments from the band store room, the percussionists need to take it from the band room, so we asked for the key to the band room from our teacher-in-charge, Mrs Raj. So Kasmani took it, and passed it to me. After this event happened, he claims that he told me to NOT pass the key to anyone else. I don't even remember a single thing about him saying that to me.

Anyway, I went up to the band room and gave the key to our percussionists, Haszrul and Ammar.

*In the bustle of everyone taking their instruments out*
"Oi! Where's the band room key?" [Haszrul asks Ammar]
"How would I know!" [Ammar]

So the percussionists searched everywhere for it, and still couldn't find the key after 20 mins+ of search.

"Percussion do you know where's the band room key?" [Kasmani]

Now, we see clearly that Kasmani was asking the percussionists first and not me about where the band room key was. What happened to his claim of asking me not to pass it to anyone else? He is obviously caught red-handed here, if he claims that he told me not to pass it to anyone beforehand, then he should know better that the key was with me and not ask the percussionists. Anyway, I already passed it to the percussionists and now the key is missing.

*Search high and low, in band room, band store room*

"Alamak!! The key is with me all along." [Umairah]

END OF STORY

LOL, when I reflect back again, I'd rather think it as a funny incident, looking at it in a wide perspective. Its funny because everyone didn't expect it to be in her pocket.

But I think we have learnt a great deal from the incident, never pass your key to anyone else and most importantly, never ever put the blame on people whom you think is wrong, they might be innocent. And Umairah, chill okay, its not your fault, its entirely my fault, I should be taking responsibility for it. I should've known as a band major, that I should not have passed the key, anything could have happened to the key.

"With great power comes great responsibility."

Creating a blog for my beloved band.

2008-11-13T17:40:00.000-08:00

Sorry for not updating so long, been busy with a lot of things lately, mainly with band and NCO stuff.

NCO!! Sorry, too lazy to post all the photos here, so view other blogs from the other NCO peoples yeah.

BAND!!
Band has been fun these few days, since I had an aim and a goal in mind, which is to reach high G without needing to change my embouchure. I've noticed that I keep changing my embouchure to a very tense one whenever I'm trying to hit those high notes, which is defined in my context as any note above high E. Yeah, my playing sucks badly, I know.

I need to practise on making my emobuchure work for me and not making me work for my embouchure. Damn it.

Its so hard when you've been stuck with the WRONG kind of embouchure all along. You always thought that your embouchure is correct, but somehow, in the journey of playing the instrument, SUDDENLY, someone tells you that your playing is wrong, or your method of breathing is wrong, etc.

Mr Ed says that you need to use air pressure to reach high notes, NOT your embouchure, if you keep pushing your lips on the mouthpiece to squeeze out those super high notes, they'll stop working for you one day.

Oh yeah, for got to mention about making the new band blog.
PIONEER BAND IS FINALLY GETTING A BLOG OF ITS OWN.
Me and Ruby are creating the new website. Wondering if it will turn out okay... I hope it does.

Its so hard just trying to get a new skin, fit for a band blog... Recommendations anyone?

Stupid religion talk.

2008-10-31T01:54:00.001-07:00

Oh god, today my dad was like suddenly crazy about praying and everything. He lectured me a whole load of shit on praying and how grateful you have to be for the things you have now. Oooh. Grateful eh? Guess what. I AM SO NOT GRATEFUL FOR THE FCKING STUPID POLICE STATEMENT I HAD TO GIVE THAT DAY.

So please, stop lecturing about fcking religion and nuts.
I hate it.
Don't you get it?!
I'm so not ready yet for religion and stuff oh-so-divine.
So just stop lecturing already. Its giving me a fcking headache.

Reminiscence

2008-10-28T06:23:00.000-07:00

Your shadows are everywhere,
I try to run and hide to no avail.
Why is it that my mind runs from you
But the heart begs for your presence?

I am left in confusion,
Not knowing whether to trust my mind; I am out of my own reach
Alone and cold in the dark I am.
Reminiscence of times together hides my melancholy like a coat.

I am tired; tired of finding the answers
Like the dust, I fade into the darkness, blending in
The sullen, gloomy days unaccompanied by your laughter, your smiles
It kills me like a shot through the heart.

-Nurulhuda H.

Your shadows haunt me endlessly.. I try to kill off the memories of you and I together, but reminisces of the past keep coming back, I can't forget you.. I am left in the dark to countless questions filling me with sorrow.. My mind is blank and numb from the thoughts, the nightmare of knowing you will never come back..

Fashion madness.

2008-10-26T07:24:00.000-07:00

I just realized what I really want to do and should be doing in the future after graduating.
I want to be a fashion designer.

I don't care what you haters and other uncategorized people out there want to say over my decision, its a long-term investment.

I've been on the net for long hours from last week, checking out some fashion websites and great names in the major fashion industry, like Christian Siriano and Chloe (I love their Winter 0809 runway collection).

So I've finally known my purpose of studying, I guess?
I have been contemplating and searching for answers or at least hints to what I am destined to do.
But destiny means very little in deciding my future, I'd like to think that its 80% effort and 20% fate for now, thank you.

gloomy sunday

2008-10-20T07:15:00.000-07:00

Gloomy Sunday - Billie Holiday

GLOOMY SUNDAY by BILLIE HOLIDAY

Sunday is gloomy, my hours are slumberless

Dearest the shadows I live with are numberless

Little white flowers will never awaken you

Not where the black coach of sorrow has taken you

Angels have no thought of ever returning you

Would they be angry if I thought of joining you?

Gloomy Sunday

Gloomy is Sunday, with shadows I spend it all

My heart and I have decided to end it all

Soon there'll be candles and prayers that are sad I know

Let them not weep let them know that I'm glad to go

Death is no dream for in death I'm caressing you

With the last breath of my soul I'll be blessing you

Gloomy Sunday

Dreaming, I was only dreaming

I wake and I find you asleep in the deep of my heart, here

Darling, I hope that my dream never haunted you

My heart is telling you how much I wanted you

Gloomy Sunday

Need to confess.

2008-10-20T06:37:00.000-07:00

Actually, I have a big confession to make. I don't really favour the idea of being a trumpeter, what more, a band major. WHAT THE HELL.

To be honest with all the readers who like wasting their time on this blog, here's a long list of all that I want to confess to doing:

Backstabbing, lying, favouring a party over another party based on unreasonable terms.
Complaining too much to my conductor, to my friends and to myself.
Whining.
Spending more than I get.
Being a fcuking emo.
Eating chicken skin.
Eating dinner.
Eating heavy lunches.
Eating burger and fries for breakfast.
Not appreciating things for how they are made.
Not understanding the purpose of why God made me in the first place.
Doubting the presence of God.
Saying Hallelujah a lot of times.
Lazy to go and pray
Cursing at things that are not meant to be cursed at or without reason
Talking dirty things

Wow, that's a really long list. Just goes to show how much I've done wrong this month.

great day today.

2008-10-17T04:47:00.000-07:00

Today was a blast!

At least today was a good day.

At the start of the day, first lesson was SS (social studies) so I was nervous to get back my paper. Then when I heard that we're getting back our papers only on Monday, I was quite relieved. *Insert heave of relief here*

I went to the next class which was physics. I managed to get through just enough to pass. Wooo.
*Another heave here please*

Then after school, came the best result of all! Biology rocked. (:

I managed to get an A1 (& topped the express level for Bio paper!)

After school, went home with Atifah & Putri. They followed me home and ate at my house. My mum made spaghetti & fried rice. OMG. It was so damn fattening.

Then we went to visit Umairah's house.

To make things shorter, and to not bore you to death, today was great.

Its a dog-eat-dog world out there...

2008-10-16T02:48:00.000-07:00

*SIGH*
Why does it always have to be this way.

I'm always on the losing end. ):

SIGH SIGH SIGH.

):):):):):):

--------------------------------------END OF OBSCENELY SHORT POST------------------------------------

Reminders of you.

2008-10-13T05:29:00.000-07:00

Why do I feel the pain when I see reminders of you?

Why does this happen? There is no answer to my questions.

Can't we just be together.

Going through my blank mind.. A reminiscence of you, of my crushed hopes, of the cuts, of everything.. Why is it that you can forget me for months, but I can't forget you for a minute of my wasted life?

I'm not gonna go anywhere, I'm gonna wait for an answer. You still seem so lost, what's the matter.

I'm watching, I'm waiting for you. I'm gonna stay here. No matter how painful it is, I wil never have a change of heart.

I'm counting the seconds, the minutes you take, every passing day stabs at my heart.

Ignorant, oblivious to my presence. I am torn inside, ripped to shreds.

Never again, never. Not ever. I don't want to let myself bleed because of the heart's selfish desires. Should I just end my life, should I kill myself? The voices in my head are demanding, gripping me, controlling my thoughts, ripping my own conscience away.

The knife in one hand, the stabs at my heart. I feel like ending it all.

I have no friends.

I have no life of my own.

I only have pain.

I only have sadness to accompany me in my solitude. Melancholy. A creation of my own being, a savage thing, ripping at my heart.

I envy; I see people holding hands. I'm crushed.

My soul bides every torment with silent weeping.

If only you knew..

Madness

2008-10-09T23:55:00.000-07:00

"Madness is doing the same thing over and over again."- Mr Glover

Yes, that is true. Damn true. Too true for me to handle.

You see, I've not been studying for my EOY exams. And its perfectly fine for me.
WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING?!

I'm asking for an F9 from Mr Glover [my english teacher/mentor].
OMG.

I've been slacking for this whole frigging year. And I think my results for EOY is going to reflect just how much its been destructive towards my studies.

Must not disappoint parents. Must not put myself to shame. Must not lose to 'some' people. Must remain a competitive student.

Must not get retained.

I think I've finally grown bored of studying. This whole world is about studying. I hope you don't need to study after you die. Damn.

Lucia Micarelli

2008-10-07T01:02:00.000-07:00

Wow, I idolize Lucia Micarelli, she's super good at violin. I want to play just like her.

I was watching videos on youtube, endless videos. Youtube just rocks. And then while browsing through violin videos, I saw her video and I was quite interested, so I watched. Wow, she's such an inspiring musician. Her violin playing is FLAWLESS. She did it as if she was meant for the violin.

Such talent.

In the video, there's Ian Anderson, a great flautist, and also Lucia Micarelli, on the violin and not forgetting the Vienna Radio Orchestra live from Vienna, Austria. I love their sound, OMG, its just so heavenly, especially when Lucia plays a Mozart tune solo (at time 5:00 if I'm not wrong) on her beautiful violin in the later part of the video. These medley of songs are called 'Mo'z Art Medley'.

Look on the bright side of life.

2008-10-06T06:11:00.000-07:00

Hey, I guess its about time I started appreciating what I have. I've been too pessimistic with my viewpoint of life.

Hmm, I'm enjoying doing my coursework for FnN very much right now (lawll, its because I've done it already). And I'm loving my new template!! (:

OMG, my exams are flunked out. I didn't really have much motivation to study for except to please my parents and to get to sec 4. *SIGH*, students really have no life I tell you. All our decisions in life are made by parents or teachers or fate. Maybe the future holds greater revelations for all of us.

Maybe its just fate.
Or maybe its God.

Hmm, I really don't know, I'm losing my little bit of faith left. I can't bring myself to think that there is someone up there looking down on everyone of us. And as how Nat put it, he made us with a purpose. I need to find my purpose quick.

I keep saying Hallelujah, which isn't a good thing for me to say (as a Muslim). I've said it more than a dozen times, in school, at home, during maths class. =.="
I really should start building my faith back and restore it step by step. But I'm sooo lazy to pray and devote myself to Him. Its just so hard when you don't know who your God is and you don't even believe much in Him, and you force yourself to reconcile with the straight path to Heaven. By saying this, I'm asking for a lightning to strike me down, man. I'm so sorry God. My faith has worn out for way too long.

I need to start believing in His power, in His creation. He made me who I am. And I need to appreciate the fact that I'm not disabled in any way.

How I wish death would come knocking sometimes. Life is just too complicated for me. God, almighty Allah, help, I beg mercy upon my sinful soul. For I do not deserve heaven, nor do I deserve hell. I wish to reconcile with You for I have been astrayed to such an extent that I cannot even see the straight path anymore. I have not prayed by my own will, I have watched sinful things, I have done uncountable sins, I have doubted your presence. I will repent for my sins. That is all I wish to confess.

I'm like a rubiks cube.

2008-09-26T05:12:00.000-07:00

I feel like such a rubiks cube, the fact that I have so many colorful events happening in my life.
I'm multi-colored baby. Oh yeah.
HAHAH. What the hell am I babbling on about. Stop crapping, get a hold of yourself.

F1 IS COMING TO TOWN!!!! (: Actually, the drivers are already here in ingapore, just that the night race hasn't started yet. I'm cheering on Lewis Hamilton! Yay! LOL.

Lewis Hamilton is so young(he's 23) but he already has so many winnings. WOW.

I want to be an F1 driver when I grow up. Fast cars, good life, whats there not to like? Other than the stress of winning.

Have to train on my PSP real hard from now onwards. Play more racing games, take them seriously. Hahah. Sounds funny but its for real. OOOOH.

I really wanna drive a fast car and outshine all those guys who are drivers. I want to prove that girls can do it too. (:

ARGH, I need a new skin, you think so?
All the blogskins are just too boring or way too girlish.

Stretched out.

2008-09-24T07:58:00.000-07:00

ARGH! I have this stupid coursework to do which really sucks. Its for my elective. Bloody fcuk.

I should have taken art instead of fcuking food and nutrition. Useless elective.

Anyway, my talent obviously lies in art, not in food science, like what the hell. I suck at culinary skills. I'm always one of the worst in my class for practicals. Oh sheesh. It always bugs me to know that I'm doing something which I actually don't like, but I'm doing it for the sake of my mum, who doesn't like art at all. She says art is a major waste of time.

ZZZZ.

I feel so stressed out by the amount of work I need to do! There's FnN coursework, english essay(draft+2nd draft+planning+final essay), FnN homework( worksheets), 3 EOY papers for maths revision, social studies and history to revise on. How much can a student possibly take?

Oh god. I'm stretched even further by my band member's attitude, especially my own drum major. Its true, guys are 3 years slower than girls in terms of maturity then. My drum major's attitude is an excellent example of the theory.

I'm not trying to state that I'm better off here, its just that if he were a whole lot better in attitude, and work with me and not against me, then the band would be disciplined. All he knows is to suck up to teachers and make it seem as if he was the one who always obeys instructions. And he makes it seem as if I'm the one who always rebels. WHAT THE FCUK.

I hope you friggin' die one day.

CLASH!

2008-09-23T05:40:00.000-07:00

Oh crap, bad news. VERY VERY BAD news. My NCO camp in November clashes with the O Level Malay paper!!!

I really don't want to miss the last day of NCO CAMP! Its the time when we'll be saying our goodbyes and asking for contacts and I'm stuck at school doing my Os. OH GOD.

Why do these stupid things always pop-up whenever there's something I'd really want to attend??? SHEESH. So effin' irritating. F YOU.

My life is so miserable. I mean like, sure there's tons of people out there with a more miserable state but I'd like to express my grief and frustration PLEASE.

Waiting for that special someone to appear...

2008-09-21T08:27:00.000-07:00

Zzz.

I am so tired of waiting for that special someone to come to my rescue from this oh-so-mundane life I'm having. Maybe I'm just not meant to have a boyfriend anyway. Oh such melancholy.

As I'm gulping down my Vitagen(grape flavoured, ugh), I'm thinking of my dream guy. Haha. Seems pretty ironic eh.

I've decided, I want a guy who:
Loves me for who I am
Doesn't go for looks
Likes music as much as I do
Supportive
Caring

Hahah. Well, I am a picky person.
Then again, these are just criterias for my perfect guy. He doesn't have to possess all these qualities, perfection is the start of a short-term relationship. As long as he likes music, and is caring and loves me for who I am, I'm happy enough.

I feel so depressed looking at couples holding hands. They look so perfect and happy together, while I'm standing here, invisible and neglected.
Parents' and families' love is so different from boyfriend's love. Its light years of difference.

I guess not everything is fair. Life is unfair. So, I won't set my hopes up too high.

Hell hath no fury over a woman's scorn...

2008-09-16T06:04:00.001-07:00

I'm bursting with anger. At some idiot who was dancing in the middle of band practice today. How I wish I could tell this to Mr Ed, but it just seems that they will eventually hate me more. I saw how unfairly Angeline was treated, how she was being punished for coming late for the first time. And Kasmani purposely reprimanded her in front of the band when actually for the other band practices, he never scolds the other band members for being late. And he NEVER respects any of my decisions, he ALWAYS tries to find some loophole to get his decision chosen instead. I am NOT exaggerating this. Oh god.

He thinks he's some drum major, always ordering people around but never helping out. He sure has the nerve to even ask us to practise when he himself is walking about the whole session today, he played a total of 45mins of sectionals and playing once for Ms Tay when we were having rehearsal of 'Pomp and Circumstance'. Ugh. The elitist attitude of some people is just unbearable. GOD.

I don't know whats my job as a band major is anymore. There's no meaning, no honor, no glory, to being a band major in a band like mine. There IS NO BAND. All I see is a bunch of immature students coming for the sake of attendance. Like why the hell do you want to choose band as your CCA if you aren't even interested in band in the first place? You know what, I'm going to say this. And I don't care if you're going to hate me for saying this. YOU PEOPLE CAN JOLLY WELL GET LOST.

Band is a place to share your love of music, not hang out. Ah, idiots. I can't stand the members anymore. I really feel like quitting and joining a better CCA to my advantage, but I'm sticking out for these lazy asses, and they are the ones who don't even appreciate the word SACRIFICE.

If not for the love and passion I have for my trumpet, I would have quit a long time ago. You members can laze around as much as you guys like. I won't even need to care anymore about the band closing down. Its not my problem anymore by then(if I changed CCAs). You are the only supposedly sustaining members left, and you all want the band to close down.

If I had it my way, I would have asked for 3 days of practice instead of 2. One more practice on Saturdays. But the teachers don't even want to come back on Saturdays, there's no support from the teachers. The only teacher who supports me is Mr Ed. Anyway, he can't do much to get us extra practice on Saturdays; the band decides by itself through majority if they want to have extra practices, and by the looks of it, Kasmani as the drum major is definitely not supporting me.

WHO THE HELL CARES IF THE BAND CLOSES DOWN ANYWAY? The only person in band who is truly loyal and putting in 110% to what she is doing is Angeline. She puts in a lot of effort trying to pitch right and everything. She puts all the other band members to shame, since she's been changing instruments so many times. And even though she switches to so many instruments before, she still perseveres on in learning to play the new instrument, whether she likes it or not.

This is the kind of dedication and commitment I want to see in our band members. I realized that you all are slackers, and quitters. If you get a new piece, don't complain so much, just practise on that piece. You guys whine so much, when you all haven't even tried the piece yet. You guys give up so easily.

Winners never quit. Quitters never win.

Must keep the little bit of faith I have left.

2008-09-13T06:37:00.000-07:00

I'm really losing my tiny bit of faith I'm trying so hard to salvage right now. I'm alredy to my last strand of hope in band. Just look at my band, we have like 15 current members in the full attendance list. What the heck.

Its not even a full band. I mean, look at other school bands, there's like, 70-100++ members. And its a big culture shock there if they ever come into our band room. I really don't know what to do. Its like, there's no hope anymore. I mean, there is hope, just that God wants me to seek it myself.

And other than struggling with my band, I also have schoolwork and parents to tend to... I'm really buckling under the pressure, honestly, I'm not even sure if I'm strong enough to withstand the problems I'm having right now. Its like, everthing I do now is wrong. And my english is getting affected too, I got a B3 on my report card.

Well who the hell cares now except for me.

In continuation to the last post...

2008-08-30T20:48:00.000-07:00

Well, as I already guessed, Putri wasn't ready to play in front of the school for Teacher's Day concert, so we decided to call it quits. My opportunity is gone. Sad story liao.

Ok, now for the blog of the day.
I have decided that maybe I can't get into NAFA. The tiny glimmer of hope just doesn't help much in securing a place at NAFA's Diploma in Music(Teaching) course. I'm going to be realistic with this, and as real as it is, I'm just not up to that kind of standard yet for NAFA admission. Yes, I may be one of the best players in the school band, but that doesn't prove that I'm ready to face the entrance audition for NAFA. It doesn't prove anything, really. Being amongst the best players in a band like mine doesn't get you anywhere.

I can't pitch perfectly yet and my stamina sucks like hell. And I just realised I've been using the wrong kind of embouchure for trumpeters. What next?

As I'm approaching my sec 4 year soon, I don't think there's time to buck up on trumpeting. Hopeless. Maybe I'll just be amongst the average people, doing average things, getting myself into an average poly, stuck with a boring course. F***ing reality.

I hate to waste away my dreams but its hard fact that everyone has to face once in a while. You're just not good enough.

Even my parents don't support me in taking up a music-related profession. They say its a waste of time and everything. Well, thats what my dad says, my mum, she supports me morally, financially, she's like "go figure".

Huh, I'm utterly confused. Life is about damned unfairness, isn't it?

Teachers' Day soloist!!!

2008-08-22T06:43:00.000-07:00

Guess what people, I was recommended by a friend to be the trumpet soloist for this year's Teachers' Day. OMG. So cool.

This is my first ever performance with a quartet, and my second time I'm being a trumpet soloist in school.

I've been asked to play with the keyboard & harmonica ensemble, a song called "Danshinuen nanuen pahboh imnida". Its a song popularised by the Korean drama series, Princess Hours. I'm so estatic over it!

I've never been asked to do a solo performance before, moreover in front of the school, with 1200 pairs of eyes watching me. WOW.

By the way, I've decided where I want to go after completing my 'O's. I'm enrolling myself in NAFA(Nanyang Academy of Fine Arts) and getting a Diploma in Music(Teaching).

Band is getting better day by day...

2008-08-19T06:48:00.000-07:00

Wow, my dream came true. The band is actually getting better and sounding way better than when we were without a conductor. Mr Ed is a great help, really.

I can really see the band working hard, not just as individuals, but as a team. There's only one problem though, Angeline's not really working out with the rest of the band. Especially when me or Kasmani as the band and drum majors respectively ask her to do pumpings, she's just so hard-headed.

I really don't know what other method I can use to work on building the discipline of the band. Kasmani can't be serious for 1 second. Well, maybe he could, but then the next second he'll be laughing at his own seriousness. =.="""

I really need to talk to Kasmani, as the drum major he should set a better example by being a disiciplined band member. I as the band major, I'm supposed to look after the day to day running of the band, Kasamani as the drum major has to look after maintaining the tight discipline of the band.

Haiz, I don't know what to say. SPEECHLESS.

By the way, our band is performing at the prestigious Victoria Concert Hall (VCH). We're performing there this 6th of September at the upcoming Junior Band Fest. I hope our band can put on our best performance and give it our 101% efforts.

And for the upcoming Pioneer Sec Open Huse in October, the band will be doing a Stomp-like performance. Its an all-percussion performance, guaranteed to rock our way into the hearts of those primary 6 students coming. I hope it'll attract them enough to get into Pioneer Sec and join our band. Then, when we have lots of sec 1s coming into our band, thats when the fun really starts...

Hungry Ghost Festival...

2008-08-02T01:45:00.001-07:00

I watched a video on Hungry Ghost Festival. I thought the trailer was quite interesting.

Hungry Ghost Festival is so scary. Just yesterday, after coming home at 7+pm, I saw people burning joss sticks. I heard that you shouldn't walk over or kick the offerings while the joss sticks are still burning because the spirits may still be feasting on the food offerings.

I'm posting the movie trailer of The Month of Hungry Ghosts here.

Hiaz.. Continuation of the last post...

2008-07-30T00:00:00.000-07:00

Here I am posting again, the continuation of my last post...

So then Kasmani dismissed himself from Band. I was Okay with it because I thought he really had to go with a valid reason or something.

Then at the 3pm session, only me, Angeline, who was one of the examplary band members there, who asked questions and talked only when necessary, Ezini and Rafidah were present. Hhaha, such a pathetic number, surely I can handle this. Yes, as you thought, I was wrong.

Angeline, as usual was a fiesty trombonist and she kept talking back to me...Haiz, never mind, I'll spare you the details.

I had quite a shitty day that Monday, so I blurted out quite frankly to Angeline about her playing that day... I still remember what I said, "Angeline do you know what I think of your playing? Disgusting."

Ok, I also honestly remember blaming myself for saying that. That was so mean! I was having a bad day, getting scolded for stuff I didn't do in class(calling the teacher stupid), and also after getting a boring AND impatient teacher for english, that I just blurted out what I thought of her playing without thinking of how hurt she would feel after hearing such frank comments.

But honestly, her sound and note pitching and transition from one note to another, was terrible. Yes, I have to admit that I'm not such a good trumpeter myself, but I just wanted to help her improve her playing I guess. And I did it quite frankly, in the manner I think even Mr Ed wouldn't consider.

Anyway, I've said sorry to her and she said its ok, cos she learns from getting harsh scolding, and then ended her message with this is a clue for you. Huh? I don't really get it, does she want me to scold her, so she can learn from her mistakes? Hmm. Yet to figure that bit out...

Today's band session...

2008-07-28T07:30:00.001-07:00

There was extra band practice today, its compulsory for all band members. I stayed from 2 to 4pm for members to come. The 2pm to 3pm session was managed by Kasmani and me, Kasmani being the conductor, for the 3pm to 4pm session for people who came late/had remedials ending at 3pm, I had to handle it myself.

The band members came quite early but we started doing serious practice 20 minutes later as Kasmani kept banging brutally on the drums whilst Haszrul and Ammar were figuring out the notes to the Phantom of The Opera song on the piano. Because we started late, I asked Kasmani to stay on a little longer, but he said he had to leave at 3pm. Can't you just help out with the band for 15 more minutes? He kept insisting that he had to leave. So I said, Ok then, never mind, I could handle the 3-4 people myself.

Kasmani didn't even practice, except for the part when we were doing the chord practice for concert B flat where he played the G note of concert B flat on saxophone....

Mental break!

2008-07-26T06:58:00.000-07:00

Argh, I've been on my biology project for hours already, need to get a mental break... So I'm blogging.

By the way, I've just been appointed as the new Band Major. Kasmani is the Drum Major. Basically, I'll be around planning management of the band practices and the general overview of it. And Kasmani will be around to ensure that the band is up to standard in terms of discipline.

Its 12:03am in the morning and here I am blogging about my band.

Anyways, I don't think I deserve to be a Band Major. Its such a great big position to be in. Certainly, if the band were bigger, I wouldn't stand a chance hoping to be the next Band Major. *Sighs*

I'm going to have white hair sprouting if I keep this up. A student's life is just so stuck up with homework and written assignments to be bothered with anything else. Even being a Band Major now, I don't know. I've got way too many things in my head right now to think straight.

My blog is officially dead. No one practically visits. Except for me. Its like my personal emotive blog now.

Does anyone even care?

Reflecting...

2008-07-23T00:20:00.000-07:00

I just realized somethng odd. Nowadays, I tend to wander deep in my thoughts, oblivious to the surroundings. I was walking home today as usual, and I found myself walking so slowly, thinking about school, my life and what I want to be in 10 years' time.

Its interesting how one long walk home from school changes your perspective on life; surprising to find that I reflect on the day at school, what I've done wrong/right, who I might've insulted subconsciously, etc., although I was tired. I guess thats just my nature?

Anyway, today I was thinking about what my career would be like if I were to be a conductor/trumpeter... I was thinking of how to start my career, and I thought, why not start it now? There's so many options open for you, the Philharmonic Youth Winds orchestra recruits members every year through live auditions. But can I make it? Will I be good enough for their standards?

I felt sad, looking at my school band. Its so fragile. Once, Mr Nathan even wanted to close down the band because he thought we were useless and wasting his money on stupid instruments. *SIGH*... I really want the best for our band, I'm working hard to be a better trumpeter, are the rest of our members trying to improve as well? I really hope so.

The minor sacrifices I've made for the members, they'll never know. But its what I feel good doing, playing music, and I don't want to stop doing what I love so I don't mind sacrificing everything. I want to skip remedials and just go for band practice. I don't want to care about school anymore, but what to do, its the Education System. I can't be a conductor if I don't have a degree in Band Directing. To get one, you have to study all the way to university, then get into NIE, and take the Band Directing course.

And so now, I'm miserably slogging away with homework and comparing myself with the best trumpeters. I'm studying harder so I can get into NAFA or Lasalle, then I can concentrate all my life from then on trumpeting! I hope.

Sigh...Was looking forward to the debate!

2008-07-21T05:08:00.000-07:00

*SIGH* I was looking forward to the debate on legalising organ transplant today at 1.30pm. But it seemed that we arrived too late, the Parliamentary Debate had already ended. I heard from one of the Education and Publicity officers there, who was in-charge of my school group, that Eunice Olsen and MM Lee were there too at the Debate.

We were very unlucky, to miss such a fiery debate. The debate was on quite a controversial and sensitive issue, organ transplant. I wanted to see the Governement Whip and Opposition Party;s speaker. You don't get to see these people everyday. And I wanted to see the Mace, the one thing that gave so much power and authority to the person holding it. It was described as an inviolable representation of authority. I would die to get my hands on that Mace.

Band also has a Mace, of which only the Band Major(or is it Drum Major?) can get to hold it. The Major will lead the whole band in marches and stuff. If the Band marches, the Band/Drum Major will hold the Mace and lead the rest of the Band members in the march. WOW. Authoritarian power, what more can you ask for?

Anyway, I hope Mdm Sri, our Social Studies teacher, will arrange another time slot to visit the Parliament. And I really really hope that there will be no adjournment of the debate to another date. As a debator my self(I'm representing the school in National School Debate), I hope to see how the leaders in our country debate, it will be a learning journey for me.

Yes, finally band will be revived.

2008-07-20T05:11:00.000-07:00

Finally, the wait is over. The wait for someone to come and rescue the band... MR ED TAN! Yes.

And he specialises in trumpets! My instrument! POWERR~
I've finally come to a decision about what I want to be when I grow up... I wanna be an orchestra conductor. I'm going to study damn hard, then get into NAFA/Lasalle, and take a degree course in trumpet. Then I think I'm heading for NIE, take up a course in Band Directing to be a Band Director/Conductor.

There have been many career options I have considered and amongst them, I thought to myself, hey, why waste your talent when you can use it to impart your knowledge to others.

So I think, this is my final decision to what I want to be when I grow up...
Partly because the career I've chosen is what I love doing and also because Mr Ed has greatly inspired me. He gave lots of good advice to performing your best on being a musician, not just a trumpeter. And I remember he said, music needs experience from life itself, not just experience from playing.

Hmm, what this means, I still don't understand fully. As the years progress, I hope I can understand what that means. Its quite deep in meaning...

my keyboard is kanasai!...haiz..

2008-07-18T07:43:00.000-07:00

Sheesh, my keyboard can't be used anymore. I'm using some program, on-screen keyboard, to type these words. So damn angry with my keyboard!

BTW, I'm addicted to Chrysanthemum Tea! Cold tea of course, I prefer chilled teas.

Anyway, after the cross-country today, Atifah bought ice chocolate and she forced me to try it. It tasted exactly like Dutch Lady's chocolate milk with whipped cream and chocolate sauce on top. I swear they overprice everything these days, I wouldn't be surprised if the toilet admission fares go up from 20 cents to 50 cents...

class outing photos.

2008-07-15T09:06:00.000-07:00

mr wong AKA new balance ad. LOL :X
haha, edwin shows off his biceps! lol. :DD
ming yi doing his stuff. pro!
eh, why mr wong look blur?lol.

woooohoooo. mr wong bbq-ing!

wah i look damn idiotic. hahah :X
wooots! alvin pooower.
eek. it was a candid pose. hahaha
sara & watermelon. im so cruel. lol
us!

Got 8 for maths quiz!

2008-07-09T09:51:00.000-07:00

Hell yes. I got 8 out of 10 for maths surprise quiz! It was super-easy actually, just the one careless mistake cost me 2 negatives. NOOO!!!!!!!!!

So now, I am super-duper happy and contented that I finally get what I want. I did my best and 8 was the result! Haha. Power.

Need to go revise maths again now, so sien. But its worth it.

Peace. :)

SUN, SAND AND SEA!!!

2008-07-09T08:56:00.000-07:00

I thought our class outing was going to be a boring thing. It turned out to be NOT what I had expected. Actually it was quite boring, nothing much to do except for being paparazzi of the day, helping Jancy and some other random people take photos.

The part I enjoyed the most was when me, Jancy and Hasimah went splashing in the seawater. OMG, that was hell loads of 'super-damn-enjoyable-as-hell-you-can-have' fun. Ha, at first I wasn't really sure of getting myself wet, mainly because I was wearing a white shirt. Then Simah just splashed loads of water at me and I was determined to get revenge. So I did, and went straight for the sea.

Wah, that was when the hell loads of fun began. Splash about, looking at the distant ships and just gazing at the sky is nice, especially when you're in the sea.

Haha, and we did sand sculptures. It was Jancy's idea, so first we built sand castles and drew stuff in the sand. Then we decided to bury someone willing enough. Simah agreed to get buried in the sand. At first Jancy, me and Lu Ye covered her body in mounds of sand, then we got "creative". Jancy planned to transform the sand mounds at Simah's feet into breasts. OMG. I didn't know she was that explicit minded. Haha.

So she started moulding. Then I got her pervert virus and started to mould a ehem... you know what. I mean, I just got a rough idea of it and moulded it there. Plus, Simah requested the ehem to be extra big. HAHAHAH!

Ok, anyways, was damn shiok la, with Mr Kwek and Mr Wong also there. But the teachers, alamak, not sporting. We wanted to show them the drawings we made but then they refused to get near the beach for fear of being pushed into the sea.

I don't feel like going to our class outing tomorrow..

2008-07-06T08:07:00.000-07:00

ARGHH! Can you at least ask us for opinions on choosing when the class outing should be held? OMG. So damn rushed. And you guys have fixed time for the duration of barbeque some more. That is just too much. Class outing should be super-damn chilled without any restrictions whatsoever, except for overnighting of course. Argh. Damn it.

I'm frustrated over here, thinking of what to wear tomorrow. And you can chill and call me asking "Eh, tomorrow you want to follow us go class outing together at 11am?". Wah. Power.

Can we please have a better outing organiser next year? At least someone who asks for opinions before deciding stuff. Catering food for the outing is nonsense. We can save so much more moeny buying food+barbeque pit stuff ourselves, instead of ordering. Anyway, if the food is not Halal, I will personally strangle you people who ordered, fancy asking us for $4 each person then serving stuff thats not Halal.

Don't even have a good enough to be brought to the beach bag. And my new PSP spoilt some more. What luck. As if the stupid class outing date+catering food is not enough. And my homework still not completed yet...Grrr.

**** la.

Pulau Ubin Sensory Trail

2008-07-05T06:59:00.000-07:00

Photos taken from journey to Pulau Ubin...in bus and in ferry

Today all the F&N students went to Pulau Ubin for a sensory trail tour. It was overall fun, except for the dogs walking around and the fresh wild boar tracks we spotted. It was scary to even think of accidentally meeting a wild boar in the forest of Pulau Ubin. Anyway, we took lots of pictures and stuff, the tour guide was super-nice. His name's Mr Paul. He answered my every question about the place. I asked too many questions I think. LOL.

Anyways, got to go now, my mum's nagging at me to switch off.

Maths improving!!! woots.

2008-07-03T08:36:00.000-07:00

Yes, I can see much improvement in maths. Hope to get good improvements in other subjects too. Since I started sitting beside Mellany in maths class, I'm concentrating more. Maybe because we complement each other well.

Anyways, Mrs Tan said there was one person who got a perfect 10 for the maths class test.
I'm crossing my fingers and hoping I get 10. I would yell, if I do get 10. Its virtually impossible, getting full score has never passed once in my mind for maths.

Need to revise maths, I'm considering a study group. Need to ask Mellany...

Anyways, 3V8'S class outing on this Monday will be taking place from 1pm at East Coast BBQ pits (in area C) 26 and 27(somewhere near Burger King, I think) till whenever you feel like going home, so I'll probably hang out there till, maybe, 9pm? I miss chilling outside so late.

Life's too short, you have to enjoy every minute while you can.

O Levels Malay Oral

2008-06-30T08:04:00.000-07:00

Today was extra special than other days, because I have to sit for my O levels Malay oral exam. In case you're wondering why I'm taking it this year although I'm sec 3, I'm taking higher malay so I need to take Malay O papers this year and Higher Malay O papers next year in sec 4.

Anyway I did a bit of reflection today. And I thought to myself "What am I living my life for? Do I have a purpose to live for?" and I found myself saying "umm..no". So, here I am typing another redundant post, instead of revising.

I asked my friend, Shad, if he lived for a purpose. And this is what he said "Well, everyone has a purpose in life. It's whether they're aware of it or not. Most people will give common answers like study hard, earn money. We're in this world for a reason. We won't know until the day we're going to give our last breath." It was really deep in meaning.

And now I'm stuck here, at the very same question I started,

"What is my purpose in life?"

Mr Tan's left us. ):

2008-06-27T06:46:00.000-07:00

Why did you have to leave us? *sob sob* Really good teacher and choir conductor. We will definitely miss your craps and everything. I was so sad when I heard you say you were going to leave our choir to pursue your business in the music school.

Come back la. The choir will definitely feel different without you to guide us along. Anyway, wish you good luck in your business at the music school and also hope you'll have a blissful marriage with you wife-to-be, and yes, I'm going to call you in 10 years' time and work in your music school. Don't know you'll remember me or not because I'm going to have braces soon.

MR ANDRE TAN, WE MISS YOU LOTS! DON'T FORGET TO VISIT US!!!

Commentary on teachers! :P

2008-06-24T07:23:00.000-07:00

As the title says, I'm going to do a commentary on teachers this time.
Muahaha. I know you teachers have a forum of your own discussing students' good and bad points in class. Now its my turn.

Starting off the commentary is...
Mr Stephen John Glover! One of my most favourite teachers. He teaches English for my band (english classes are separated by bands). Cool dude and always so dramatic while teaching us, haha. He makes good jokes too. Got nothing bad to say about him. Mr Glover's a nice guy but when you make him angry, nobody dares to even move. I'm never bored in his class.

Ms Cai! My favourite teacher of year 2008! She's really nice and helpful and kind and she forced me to study for maths. When I didn't complete my homework she confiscated my ez-link card and told me to stay back to finish it up. But it really helps because I seem to learn better one-on-one. And because of her, my grades went up to E8 from F9! Thank you so much.

Mr Kwek! One of my favourite teachers too! Haha. He taught me at maths remedial this year. And sometimes stay back with him also to do maths when Ms Cai/Ms Ng not around. He's a nice guy, willing to help out students not even from his own class, me as an example, in maths. Always seen in school either running or walking way too fast, haha. Interesting to talk to on MSN also. Too bad he leaving soon. :(

These are the top 3 teachers of 2008! All the powerr teachers. I promise to comment on other teachers too though. Soon. *evil grin* :D

cheers aite, goodnight.

Deepest sympathies...

2008-06-23T07:59:00.000-07:00

I was shocked and sad when I heard that Atifah's grandmother passed away last Friday. I know how it feels losing someone really close to you, my grandmother passed away in March last year.

I was at Discovery Centre if I'm not wrong for a school trip last year, then I called my mum. I don't know why, I just felt like calling her. So I called my home phone, then my paternal grandmother told me my mum went to my maternal grandmother's house because she just passed away. I was too shocked to do anything, so I just muttered "okay" and ended the call.

Then I was like, huh. It was too much for me to handle then. And to think I couldn't be with my grandmother when she was dying is just so sad. The funny thing was, I didn't really comprehend the fact well enough to be in a state of sadness. I was rather more to shocked and taken by surprise than sad.

Anyways, my deepest sympathies to Atifah. You know you'll have a shoulder to cry on at school.

Photos!!! yay, finally.

2008-06-21T09:18:00.000-07:00

Took lots of photos on my phone but keep forgetting to upload them. Here's some of the best ones I took of my brother and one drawing I did voluntarily.

My half-finished drawing of Billie Joe Armstrong, lead singer of Green Day (used to be my favourite band). I eventually got fed up with trying to finish shading in the hair. LOL

My bro at McD somewhere in Chinatown after dental appointment. (this photo was taken last week)
Laksa photo I took today, at Banquet. Got nothing better to do, so I swirled my fork around in the bowl of sinful pleasure. So fattening. And so delectable. This second photo of the laksa makes it look less sinful. And the swirl is clearer now. I love food art.Amirul posing for the camera, actually I made him pose this way. Haha.
Asked him to put on a funny face, then he did this wide smile. Cute.

"Don't play play!" Hahahahahah. Love his wide eyes.

I think I may have OCD..

2008-06-21T08:59:00.000-07:00

I was checking out the meaning of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder on dictionary.com, when I felt what I read on the symptoms paragraph matched most of the things I experience. For example, I get sudden impulses and imgaes of frightening stuff, I don't know how to describe it, its like a sudden flash. After getting the sudden impulse, I will feel the sudden urge of performing my tasks faster. Like, when I'm doing my homework, I have a sense of urgency in writing down the answers. It feels like I'm being timed for each answer I write.

And I'm very particular when eating, for example, when I'm scooping up the rice, if there's fishcake in the dish, I need to eat each spoon of rice with only one slice of fishcake. And another thing I noticed last year, when I started learning how to draw realistic human portraits for art, I must always make it a perfect drawing. Like, it has to be of photograph realistic quality. Thats why I don't think I can be a good artist, I spend months drawing just one portrait to detailed perfection.

Does this mean I have OCD? Hmm, maybe. But for now, I'd like to think I'm normal, thank you.

Went to rehearse mime parts today @ library. TIRED!!!

2008-06-19T08:27:00.000-07:00

Just came back from the library, tired, exhausted and everything else. I was at the library from 10am to 8pm. Can be librarian there already, haha.

Anyway, Raihan, Me and Hasimah went to the Frontier Community Library to rehearse our parts for the mime play in our uppcoming English class. I'm sure with our elaborate preparations, our group will set the standards for the other groups. We have so far practised for 37 hours. We took 4 days off the June holidays for dry-runs and practise.

I sure hope that our efforts will pay off. Haven't do props! Tired. Fatigue is slowly catching up.

OK don't want to rant on further, I'm going to sleep now. Goodnight.

No chocolate and Coke.. ):

2008-06-16T06:41:00.000-07:00

Arghh, for the sake of the braces. No more chocolate and Coke+other fizzy/sugared drinks. The refraining of chocolates is Ok, I don't mind not eating choc, I can live without eating chocolate. Its the "no fizzy drinks" part that really bothers me. Am I ready to pop into McD or KFC and give my Pepsi away to my friend? Maybe. Anyway, its for the good of charity. Teehee.

I'm praying real hard I don't need headgear or palatal expanders. Oh god, they really suck because you'll need time to get used to them and talk properly...

Anyway, its going to be fun having metal stuck to your teeth. I hope.

Paraskevidekatriaphobia/BRACES!!! (:

2008-06-13T01:09:00.000-07:00

Because today is Friday The 13th, I thought of putting in a post that has a bit of relevance to today. Paraskevidekatriaphobia is a super long term given for the disorder whereby patients have an irrational fear of Friday The 13th. I found this on an MSN Live website's feature article.

Triskaidekaphobia is a term coined for phobia of the number 13 only.
Tetraphobia is a term used for the fear of the number 4. At first I thought it was for people with a fear of the game tetris.

Anyway, I'm getting my braces in November!!!!! Muahahaha.
Yes, I'm getting braces, like finally. Actually I already went for an appointment in 2005 when I was in Pri. 6. But I decided to postpone my idea of getting braces for the reason that I was unsure and scared of the dentist. Is there a term for the fear of dentists?

Although I'm excited to get the braces on, my orthodontist told me they'll have to extract 4 teeth first, 2 from upper jaw and 2 more from lower jaw. Ouch. Still, I'm anticipating the appointment when Dr Micheal Mah(the orthodontist in charge of my braces) will fix on the braces.

NEXT UP: MISSION AIR BAND

2008-06-10T06:21:00.001-07:00

The flash mob mission organised by Mission Singapore, "THE FINGER GUNFIGHT" is finally up on youtube!!!

Here's the official video of the mission "Finger Gunfight" held on 31st May:

Its so super damn awesome! I'm planning on attending the next flash mob held next Friday, 20th June, 3pm, location is still not confirmed yet though. The mission is called Mission Air Band.

Ever heard of Air Guitar? Well, this takes it a whole step further. First of all it is a medium sized mission, that means it is a SPECIAL mission! hhaha. YES A Special Mission! Exclusive to M:SG members. Can I bring my cool and awesome friends along? HELL SURE! The Cooler the better. For an Air Band concert, we'll need: The magnificent and opulent band members Quantity: 4 and The outrageous Fans Quantity: the rest of you!

OMG, its gonna be fun. I can't wait for 20th June. Call me childish or anything you want, its not. Flash mobs are popular amongst adults too. Most of the people who turn up at Mission Singapore's flash mobs are mostly adults but this doesn't mean that only adults are allowed, the only rule is that you have to live in Singapore to participate.

Intro of myself.

2008-06-08T08:11:00.000-07:00

As the title reads, I'm intro-ing myself again to those who have yet to know what makes me an individual:

nurul
15 this year
born on 24.05.93
hates spammers to the core
likes chocolate, yum
malay
single but crush-ing on that somebody whom i know i'll never be with ):
loves to stay at home watching TV
literally dying to get cable with MTV and nickelodeon, discovery and national geographic channels
taking history+food&nutrition+physics&bio
want to make more frens not just mere acquaintances
in progress of improving maths
rational sense of open-mindedness
like to blog+sleep+pizza (:
like to cook for people (:
love swimming!
loves any sport with elements of fun except soccer(its too routined, kick balls and score???)
doesn't like broccoli&tea(used to love tea but hate the aftertaste), pink, guys who laze about and do nothing.
i'm part of MISSION SINGAPORE (M: SG)
getting braces probably by end of this year! (:
like to lie in my bed listening to the sound of rain pattering down
more emotional than intellectual most of the time

OK, that was super long. Till the next post, bye!

Arghhh! scared to death liao.

2008-06-06T07:11:00.000-07:00

My mum was watching the telly today, then when she switched on to the Suria(Malay local channel) channel, there was this really damn supa-dupa scary movie playing and she decided to watch that. It was ten and I was scared. Like supa-dupa scared. I don't really like watching horror movies especially at night. (It was 10pm)

The horror movie showing on TV was about this girl who keeps seeing strange 'things' at her school. Her friends bullied her as they didn't believe that there was a ghost. Then a strange thing happened while they were bullying her, they saw something lurking in the dark corridor of the school. They bullied the girl at night, so it was damn dark. HAHAHA! Bully her some more ah.

So damn scary, I have to admit I get really scared when watching horror stuff. Its like one moment there's a calm scene, then the next thing you know, OMG! The ghost just jumps out at you. I have had my share of traumatic movies that until today I cannot forget, one of them I would remember for life is this Thai movie about an old hospital. So damn damn supa-dupa scary. There was a lot of sudden-ghost jumping-out scenes, which I think is the thing that made me remember the movie still. Dammit.

I'm still scared of looking under my bed at night. The scary hospital movie(its title I can't remember) had a scene where the camera shifted down slowly to the hospital bed then the focus was below the bed, and suddenly a supa-dupa scary looking lady stared from below the bed. Just remembering this scene makes me damn scared...

I know I'll need to conquer my fears someday, but I think there's logical reasoning behind every ghost encounter case.

Watched 'My World My Blog' today.

2008-06-05T07:15:00.000-07:00

I watched this show on Channel U today at about 9.30PM; was browsing through channels and spotted the show. Was quite interesting and very relative, about this girl who had personal+family problems and then resorted to cutting herself to ease the pain inside.

AND IT FEATURED PIONEER SECONDARY SCHOOL(the girl was acting as a student of the school)!!!!

She went through so many problems, with schoolwork, breaking up with her boyfriend and her parent's constant quarreling at night. So she thought hanging around with friends who introduced her to cutting would solve her problems, but it worsened them and her family ties was drifting away. I love this episode so damn much.

When I saw the girl cutting on the episode, I could just feel the pain over and over again, horrible memories of my not-so-normal-teen past came back. I guess I'm not going to sleep well tonight, thinking again over what I used to do, my drug that I crave for to reach that same gratification. I'm attributing the cause due to peer pressure @ school+personal problems that I don't feel like putting here. I won't mention what the solution was, but I guess you guys know already.

And I feel relieved I don't have a boyfriend, things could have gotten worse.

Damn you bloody penknife.

A guy is stalking me!

2008-05-29T23:56:00.000-07:00

Recently there's a guy who keeps messaging and calling me all of a sudden. I really don't want to talk to him, but he will keep on SMS-ing me till I give a reply. Putri used my phone to text him, and now he knows my number! Crap la, stop messaging/calling me and asking me to go steady with you!!! I don't even know you.

Its really really bothering me, I want to tell him to stop texting me, but he keeps on messaging anyway. I lied to him that I already had a steady to make him stop SMS-ing me. So damn irritating. I already have enough problems to handle, enough homework to be done, so just don't add on to the pile. Some people are so irritating sometimes, you really need to tell them to stop TWICE before they really stop.

I just don't want to reply to him anymore. I didn't ask you to text me so stop it OK! And I don't want to get invovled in any BGR nonsense with you at all. Even if you offer me a million dollars, I'll never. Because you keep pestering me. And because you didn't even intro yourself you just text me whenever you like and ask stupid questions like "Are you single?". What the F. Just get lost.

Stop pestering me anymore or I'll rip your dick off. And don't think I don't dare to tell my parents, I've already told my mum.

Really interesting movie...

2008-05-29T02:26:00.001-07:00

I happened to stumble upon this very very interesting movie, about the existence of Christinanity. I do not promote anti-Christianity. Its just that the video is interesting, talking about the Bible as an Astrotheological Literary Hybrid. And they showed stuff about the World Trade Centre's 9/11 incident.

Here's the link to the movie's video:
http://www.zeitgeistmovie.com/main.htm

Quite interesting and intriguing as well, the video was even censored by youtube and removed whenever anyone posted this video.

You'll probably find only the censored version on youtube, the version which youtube shows very little of this movie. They censored very big chunks of the movie so I searched out the movie website and watched it from there. Haven't really finished watching though. A must watch.

"They must find it difficult... Those who have taken authority as the truth, rather than truth as the authority."- Gerald Massey

anticipating for the 31st May!

2008-05-29T00:33:00.000-07:00

OMG, I can't wait for the flash mob (when a large group of people do something unusual for a short period of time then disperse) on 31st May. Its gonna be hell loads of fun! I wish I could tag in all my friends and everyone at school then hundreds of people turn up for the flash mob. Its called the "FINGER GUNFIGHT".

Taking place this Saturday, 3.30pm, please come to Raffles Place MRT. Can't tell you more details here, the guys at Mission Singapore want you to subscribe to their mailing list to find out more.

Raise your finger and yell Bang! Ever imagined you were living in an action-filled game? In this fun mission, the Finger Gunfight, 'Agents' everywhere will be gathering at our secret location, as told already in our e-mail received from MISSION SINGAPORE, and playing a game of quick wits and fun-filled action. Its guaranteed loads of fun.

I'm gonna bring along my imaginary Benelli M1! I've already RSVP-ed that I'm attending. So now its a matter of anticipating. Damn, I can't wait for the mission.

Here's the video of what the finger gunfight will probably look like:

Banned Xbox Commercial

This is my first flash mob mission so I'm really hyped up for the mission. Anyone wanna tag along?

I like rainy days!

2008-05-27T02:15:00.000-07:00

I really like rainy days. The bad side: they make me sad. For whatever reason there is, I feel so sad seeing raindrops falling down to the ground. Its sort of a sympathetic feeling. I don't know why I keep feeling like that, I know I'm a bit wierd. Haha.

I think its going to rain soon, looking at the overcast sky outside. So beautiful and calm. I like days when its raining outside and I'm just looking out at the sky, with all the raindrops falling down pattering gently to the ground. I like getting raindrops on my face. :)

Anyway at my choir practice earlier( 12-2pm), I had to conduct the warm-up exercises, which I have never done before. The usual breathing from diaphragm, hissing exercise, head and shoulder rotation(which I hate the most) and singing notes up and down the scales.

Then out of the blue, Mr Andre Tan(our choir conductor) asked us to sing solo one by one. OH CRAP! I really hate to sing solo in front of the whole choir, but I went to sing anyway. Even if you can't sing, he makes you sing. So I sang the song "somewhere over the rainbow". Its a beautiful song and I couldn't help not singing it. Then, Mr Tan said something quite unexpected, he said that I sung it beautifully. I was like, in a twilight zone for a few seconds then I said "Really?". Mr Tan said "Ya, but I think you should sing songs that can match your vocal range, you can reach the high notes in this song so you should be able to sing harder songs like Mariah Carey's songs".

ARGHH! MARIAH CAREY AGAIN!!!!! I'm getting real sick of her.

I'm so sorry Mrs Cannon(Mariah wed Nick Cannon), but I really can't stand you anymore. Its like, everyone is talking about Mariah after her new song "touch my body" reached the billboard charts again. "Sheesh!" is all I can say.

Lots of people have said that maybe this couple is just marrying each other as a publicity stunt. Mariah is a famous person anyway, and Nick Cannon, a normal average celebrity. Well, thats what the reports have said.

(FYI, Nick Cannon is 28 this year and Mariah Carey is 39.)

Anyway, I'm planning to sing "A moment like this" sung by Kelly Clarkson at the next choir practice. Its way, way better than singing Mariah Carey's songs, although I have to admit, Mariah has a damn high vocal range.

ALUMNI!!!

2008-05-25T06:41:00.000-07:00

As I was browsing through Friendster, I saw a few of my ex-classmates' profiles. They all look so adult. And I'm like, look at me, I have the mentality and look of a 13-year-old..

Anyway, I really really super-duperly miss my ex-West Grove friends.. You guys all rock! But now, I haven't got the time to go back, even if I go back, they wouldn't let me in West Grove because now they have this rule that only ex-West Grovians who are in the official Alumni Club of WGPS are allowed in.

And one of the rules that apply to wanting to be a member is that you have to have an A or A* in PSLE. CRAP! Luckily, I had 2 As, so its ok. Another thing, you have to be from either Nan Hua High, Crescent Girls' School or River Valley High. CRAPPY! This one is a must, so I can't join the Alumni Association.

So sad, I really want to catch up on our past years with other west grovians class of 2005, I really miss those great times together... I have not went back to West Grove since 2007. :(

I MISS YOU GUYS SO BADLY! I miss the time when our principal was Mr Ong, and when our classes were banded as EM1, EM2 and EM3. I miss our fitness corner. I miss you guys the most, I lost contact since our graduation with a big chunk of you people. Most of you changed numbers, and our Pri 6 form teacher already transferred to teach in another school, Rulang Primary if I'm not wrong.

Hope we can have a 'class of 2005 reunion' soon.

A2, hell yeah!

2008-05-25T02:01:00.000-07:00

Eh, BTW, the english results in my report card showed A2! It isn't a C5 as I expected. Luckily they combined the results. I heard from some guys in my english class that I got 2nd in the whole class for english. So damn happy!

I got some quotes online about love and other things which I think are quite interesting:

"I am in love - and, my God, it is the greatest thing that can happen to a man. I tell you, find a woman you can fall in love with. Do it. Let yourself fall in love. If you have not done so already, you are wasting your life." - D. H. Lawrence

"The most wasted day is that in which we have not laughed." - Chamfort (MY FAVOURITE QUOTE!!)

"Lovers don't finally meet somewhere. They're in each other all along." - Rumi

"A loving heart is the truest wisdom." - Charles Dickens

"There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness." - Nietzsche (My favourite philosopher!)

"You don't love a woman because she's beautiful; she is beautiful because you love her." - anonymous quote

"You come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by seeing an imperfect person perfectly." - Sam Keen

I remembered a guy who was with me for a few months in Westwood Sec before we broke up(I won't say his name here) and he loved saying sweet stuff and quotes about love. Here's my share of favourite quotes, if he's reading my blog right now. I hope he's with a better girl now. I really miss you.

Reminiscing on my past 15 years...

2008-05-25T01:31:00.000-07:00

After having the most unique birthday I've ever had(the fact that I didn't really feel happy for or celebrate it makes it unique), I thought of musing over the significant and insignificant things I've done over my past years as a normal, constantly overshadowed human being.

The first thing I excogitated upon was the first time I told my mum I won't get into trouble and listen to everything she said. This proved to be mere words. It was a promise I made at 7 or 8 years old, I forgot exactly when, but surely a promise made by my own naiveness and oblivion to the mentality of a teen.

The second thing I reflected on was about how I heard about the "F word" and questioned my mum over what the meaning of it was. The response was almost immediate, a "don't you dare say that ever again in this house" was my answer. So being the curious person I was born to be, I asked my Chinese friends in class, who used the word at least twice in a sentence, what it meant. They said "sex lor". I remember myself going "Alamak" and feeling so bad about asking the word's meaning to my mum.

But now, its no longer a taboo, its an everyday word. Haha. And to think that I said "alamak" is a laughable matter now, looking back at the past me, so damn naive.

Then after reminiscing about two things that made me laugh to myself, I grew bored and so I posted this today.

I think I'm growing out of celebrating my birthday with family.. I really feel like celebrating with friends. But everyone is so damn busy with their own stuff, anyway who would wanna go walk along the beach at Sentosa with me, they'll probably get bored. Well, what can I say, I myself think I'm quite a boring person too. Haha..

I'm a big fan of walking by the beach, it makes me feel like life can't be rushed, you need to take time and cherish everything before all is washed away with the sudden backwash of seawater. Admiring the evening sun is so...hmm, I can't really find a suitable word to describe the feeling, its just all too beautiful to be described exactly.

Bored and sian-ning away at home.

2008-05-24T00:49:00.000-07:00

Home and bored. Nothing much to do when its raining outside..
Realy wanted to go to Sentosa but decided against it in the end. Go also have to go myself. Anyway, today nothing out of the ordinary happened.

Except for Normala giving me a b'day pressie! :)
Its an EEYORE SOFT TOY!!!!!!! :P

I really like him. I want to regard Eeyore as him, calling Eeyore an 'it' is so inhumane. LOL. :D

Anyways, it was damn cute and I want to give a shoutout to Normala, thanks a million!

DAMN BORED!!!!!!!!!

LAST DAY OF SCHOOL in term 2!!!

2008-05-23T22:15:00.000-07:00

WOOHOOO!!!!
ITS THE LAST DAY OF TERM 2!
lets go chill. chill. my favourite word now. :)

Still, there's holiday assignments to be completed, places to be explored, shopping trips to go.

ALL IN ONE MONTH.

Oh ya, just now at school, after my class was dismissed, I ran down, more of struggling to get out of the masses of bodies blocking my path to the canteen, and 'reserved' a table for my friends and shouted. Yes, it wasn't exaggerated. I did shout. And shouting on the last day of school was ultra-fun, just to mark the end of school for term 2.

At first I felt like shouting all sorts of vulgarities to make it quite a 'memorable' ending to term 2 in the canteen, but I decided not to, luckily. (heng!)

Holidays are quite boring plus I'm not really going out much. Shopping is not really all fun, I don't get to take the money out of my bank account(my parents think I'll finish the thousands in there in one day) whenever I feel like shopping. Shopping becomes fun when you have like hundreds of dollars plus a good friend to tag along. I do have a good shopping buddy (Normala) but no money(constantly broke). I really need to go for financial management classes, etc.

And I'm still thinking of what to do in the holidays other than studying for maths, bio, physics, etc, parkouring and participating in flash mobs.
I am so free I need to plan everyday of the holidays to decide on what to do... I'm really needing suggestions on time-soaking activities during the June holidays.

Tomorrow we party!!! :)

2008-05-23T05:08:00.000-07:00

OMG OMG OMG!!! Tomorrow I'm officially turning fifteen. :)

OMG OMG!!! I got 4th in class position! Yay!

OMG!!! I was chosen to this SPH(Singapore Press Holdings) camp for a Malay local newspaper! It sort of trains you to be a journalist or something like that...

I can't wait to party hard tomorrow... :P

I'm thinking of going to Sentosa and just walking along the beautiful beach, admiring the beautiful day and the beautiful waters.
I'm praying it doesn't rain tomorrow.

I really like admiring Sentosa's beach. And I love the sand. I'm a sun-loving person and Sentosa is just perfect.

I don't know why I'm rambling on about Sentosa.

I REALLY REALLY HOPE TOMORROW IT DOESN'T RAIN. But another thing to keep in mind, who do I go with?

Already asked Putri, Hasimah, Atifah, Normala, my family members and all of them are either busy or lazy to go out or too determined in catching up with the hours of sleep lost mugging for exams.

Arghh. Never mind go home sing birthday song alone then go back to doing maths, english , biology, history, SS and higher malay homework. I'll definitely sleep halfway doing maths and history and not to mention waking up several hours later. Its good to be a damn heavy sleeper 'cos my mum gives up trying to wake me. :D

I'M SCREAMING FOR SENTOSA!!! really want to go but have to go alone. *sighs*

I hate my results!!!

2008-05-15T06:33:00.000-07:00

Shit. I am so in deep trouble. My results aren't what I've expected to get.

ARGGHH! In that case, I need to mug again everything I learnt in term 1 and 2 to meet my targets. I can't break my own promise.

Its been 2 years since I last got a Scholarship award. My results are so sucky.

I really need to focus more on maths and english after getting 37.5% for maths and a very very disheartening 57% for english. I don't know what happened in the exam, I have never gotten a C for english in my life and I wasn't prepared to spoil the As I've been getting for english. Its my forte. I mean, it was my forte.

Getting yet another F9 for maths is already bad, now I'm getting a stupid C to rub it in. So much for the hopes of a future lawyer.

I need to accomplish certain targets:

English- consistency in A1
E. Maths- Get a B4 for EOY exams
Combined Science (Biology & Physics)- consistency in A1
Higher Malay- Get an A2 for EOY
Combined Humanities (History & Social Studies)- Get an A2 for EOY
Food And Nutrition- Get a B3 for EOY

I'm going to make sure I really get the results. Even better maybe. June holidays will be the start of intensive training.

Read 10 english books during whole holiday, 5 Malay books(I don't really like reading malay books), re-do the whole revision paper with the 283 questions Ms Cai gave and do extra maths revision at least 100 questions, do biology and physics notes for EOY exam, read more on Communism in Russia for history, do notes for both history and SS EOY exam, do notes for F & N EOY exam and study a few chapters ahead for every subject.

As torturing as it sounds, I'm desperate to get only As and Bs for the End-Of-Year exams.
It sounds funny trying to be strict with yourself, but its all for the results. Holidays I'm definitely not going anywhere, so this should keep me busy...

I don't want to end up like my foster sis, she's re-taking her O's this year, because she got admission to ITE for getting 26 points. And she's an express student. Slack for a moment and you regret for a lifetime. It was because she failed maths and got a D7 in english.

Hell, getting into a decent polytechnic is not as easy as it was back then. A lot of competition in admission to poly, furthermore now foreign students are coming to Singapore for studies and they are all damn smart.

rant on failing the maths paper.AGAIN.

2008-05-12T06:35:00.000-07:00

I failed. Again. An unsuccessful attempt to pass maths.

I'm really frustrated and sick of getting F9s. I told myself I was going to pass this exam but I didn't. What the hell. This proves that motivation does not work.

But I need to be forward-looking, so I already planned out a list of things to be done if I were to fail maths:

1) Come back to school on June holidays for at least 5 times.
2) Do more practices of course.
3) Ask Ms Cai for more maths homework.
4) Pay attention even if the lesson is so boring that even Ms Cai is yawning.
5) Minimize gap of target and results and maximize effort put in to yield the results I'm aiming for.

If I fail again after carrying out the tasks mentioned above, then this will mean that I'm just not destined to be a lawyer. If you can't even pass maths, how can you be expected to handle so many cases if you can't handle a simple maths paper?

Or maybe I'm re-considering my options of being a lawyer. Maybe I'll be a teacher or a writer or a DJ or...

Sore throat la.

2008-05-01T22:12:00.000-07:00

I'm having this really sore throat for a few days. Thats what you get after recovering from fever. Stupid irritating sore throat. Its making my voice sound like a horse cross-bred with a lion. I don't even know how they will sound like if they were really cross-bred. Eww.

I'm currently quite busy with a music project going on and also because I need to study for the exams. I don't want to fail my maths again like last term so I'm really going to try and get a B4. But the problem is, I can't get the formulas in my head cos I'm thinking of something else.

Something thats way more interesting than exams... (Its not porn ok!)

Bad Hair Days

I'm having bad hair days and Raihan my stress-free friend is being a total dickhead. He's purposely irritating me while I'm having mood swings to get me angry. Eg. he says "whatever" for more than 10 times in my face with his crap attitude put on.

Maybe he's having mood swings too and channeling it to me, I don't know.

All he speaks of is Mariah Carey. I mean, he's so obsessed he can't stop saying about how great she is and all the awards she's won. Its not like we hate Mariah Carey, its just that not everyone is a Mariah Carey fan.

And I need to clear this up, I do not like Raihan as in love. I regard him as a good friend and thats the end of it.

Another thing, I have stopped dyeing my hair since January. And at that time I dyed it black. But the dye's fading and my original hair colour before it was dyed black is showing (it was a dark cappuccino brown colour before).

maths MYE coming soon.

2008-04-30T08:19:00.000-07:00

OOOOOOH.. Maths paper coming soon. And I am so going to PASS IT. I've been studying/staying back for the maths exams for at least 2 weeks now, and I'm very determined to pass it no matter what. I'm willing to stay up all night to revise for maths if that's the last thing I'd do.

I'm terrible at math. I can't even pass my class tests and I'm aiming to get a B4 at least. MUST GET B4. I'm not betting or competing with anybody, its just that I want to PASS MY MATHS. I've been getting fails since sec 2 mid-year maths paper.. :(

I can't do factorisation but now I know how to. I used to have a short attention span but not any more. I used to not know how to solve simultaneous equations using the elimination method but now I know how to. I used to fail so often for most of my maths class tests but only occasionally now. Signs of improvement! :)

THANKS TO MS CAI AND MR KWEK AND PUTRI FOR ASSISTING ME IN MATHS, YOU GUYS RAWK! :)

I really really am grateful for all the help you people rendered, I appreciate it lots.
XOXOXOs for people who have painstakingly gone through every minute detail of helping me to understand the maths stuff.

Its a rare achievement for me to score in maths, which I don't think I can, but I'll do my best and give it 110% effort.

Like Mr Kwek said, "push yourself". :D

And to Ms Cai, thank you so much for helping and always encouraging me to work hard for maths. I think our maths class is the best although we are the weakest maths class in sec 3 express. For the time wasted staying back with us all, for all the lame jokes you endured when teaching Raihan and me, I would like to say a BIG HUGE thank you!

***praying hard I'll pass maths with a B4 on my report card***

I hate 'act-cute' people

2008-04-29T07:45:00.000-07:00

I was reading someone's blog today* and I was totally disgusted by the way this particular blogger was writing in, in fact its a trend now to talk/type in this manner. I'm sure most of you know this particular style I'm talking about. Yes, its the "Act Cute Syndrome(ACS)" .

For example, in context of love:

"ii miShh HyMm sHoo MucH"- i miss him so much

"gIb Me Da LuRp I NEeD fRom euUu"- give me the love i need from you

"cAn eUu PrOmISH mE dAT ii WilL bE uR oNLieE oNE?"- can you promise me that I will be your only one?

Yes, its irritating. And also its hard to read especially when you just wanna browse through.
Not to mention the sudden capital and small letters used together. Don't you ever think, what if some people are like allergic to seeing stuff like these? What if we get seizures from reading extremely long sentences all in this style of writing (ARGHH!!!)? OK, that was just too exaggerated :D

But seriously, I hate this style of writing, as if to make yourself sound more cute. If you're a baby, please tell me 'cos its really abnormal for grown-up teens writing in extremely irritating styles.

*SIGH* Its so tiring just to educate people. (The reason why I aspire to be a lawyer rather than to be a teacher) :P

*Names have been kept confidential due to potentially extreme embarrasment of being caught red-handed writing like this.

Argghh...

2008-04-29T02:23:00.000-07:00

I dreamt that I failed my SS exam last night. I was so sure it wasn't going to bother me.

But I think I'm really going to flunk this exam..

When I got the english paper, I was sweating so hard, I was thinking maybe its because of the weather, but even when there was a gentle breeze, I was still sweating. *SIGH* The english Paper 1 was a KILLER. The English Paper 2 was intermediate level, which was OK.

Then came the real Killer, THE SS PAPER. *dramatic music playing in background*

SS paper when I looked at the first question...wah piang.*drops dead*

I really don't know what else to say for SS paper. Luckily Section B was damn easy. *phew*

But it still doesn't give me the confidence I need that I can pass my SS MYEs.

By the way, FYI: John Wesley is converted on 24 May (my b'day) 1738, essentially launching the Methodist movement; the day is celebrated annually by Methodists as Aldersgate Day.

Oh great, my birthday is some "Aldersgate Day"

Another misunderstanding...=.="

2008-04-28T06:56:00.000-07:00

I was so sure that I ruined mr kwek's day when i heard sujatha saying that he was scolded by mdm sri... =.="

actually, in fact, IT WAS NOT TRUE!

argh, i hate it when i get misunderstood. =.="""""""

whatever la.

im too lazy to go into details so, ya. whatever.

zzzzzzzzzzzzz.....

I'm feeling love in the air...

2008-04-23T07:21:00.000-07:00

There's just so much I can't say. You're so near but I just can't see a future in us. And anyway, I'm still schooling.. Arghh, its really frustrating when I can't have freedom of speech. You may be reading this now, and you'll be like, "No it can't possibly be me...", but yes, I know, as strange as this sounds, it is YOU I've been wanting to say something to.

I won't say who YOU are, but I think if I told you, you'll just suddenly freak out. Anyway, I don't think I'm good enough for a guy like you. Not even close. So its already confirmed there's no chance I'll be seeing you again if I ever told you in the face that I've been admiring you from afar.

There's so many words I'm longing to say, but even if you heard me say it, you'd probably be asking yourself, is this really happening or am I having a nightmare? Its so saddening how people are not allowed to express all of our emotions directly to anyone we want. There's two types of response you can make. Its either you'll just stare at me, wide-mouthed and going like, shit, or you can be nice and friendly outside but feel so taken aback by me saying this.

I thought by having a blog at least I can express some of my feelings, but then you're one of the readers of this blog, so yea, I really can't say who I 'm talking about. Its a really sensitive/inter-personal issue. And you're not even from the same worlds as me. Like, we're not even related by race. Haha,

And because NORMALLY, a guy will say they like a girl. Not the other way around. Its so weird if a girl expresses her feelings to a guy. And another factor is mainly because I don't have enough guts/self-esteem to say this to you. You make me so quiet when you're near. And I suddenly sink into my seat, hoping you won't see me. I'm sure there are a lot other people who are better than me.

I just want to say this, I really really like you. But it will be the end of all of this confession after this post. All I can do is admire from afar and live in my imaginary world where there's only you and me.

2008-04-20T22:08:00.000-07:00

im back to cutting myself...

i s.e.r.i.o.u.s.l.y t.h.i.n.k .i .h.a.v.e a MENTAL .p.r.o.b.l.e.m.

i don't want to do it, but i just don't know how else to let the pain inside surface. T_T

but i swear if i ever get better i'll advice kids to never ever cut themselves.

people always think its cool to do this but its actually a mental disorder.

i can't tell this or let this news leak to my parents. they'll literally kill me for that.

arggh, i just feel so useless. with my maths marks so low and me slacking in classes. i can't even get into top 10 spots in class anymore.

WHY DO WE HAVE TO DO THIS?? :(

2008-04-20T21:48:00.000-07:00

my class is currently working on a project. a music project. its super boring + lame. and it does a lot of wonders to the reputation when our ewww so super off-key voices are heard blaring out into the school's compound. =.=""""""

[i'm experimenting writing in this form: left align then right align again :P]

argghgh...luckily Putri came to the rescue from making me sing. she OFFERED herself to sing for our group. :DDDD
YAYS FOR PUTRI!!!! :) luv ya. muackz. kisses and hugs. xoxoxos.

i really really love music. but this music project we're having makes me hate it sooo much.

i hate being forced to do things which i think im not meant or mentally prepared to do.

furthermore, we're nearing MYEs (Mid-year exams) and our teacher ms XXX asked us to do this project. i don't even know what we're doing it for. for me, im just performing the tidieous tasks for the marks. yes, yes, i know i'm a bit result-oriented sometimes. :P

im totally loving viwawa. :D

actually this layout sucks balls but who cares, not many people view my blog aniwae and a blog is just a public diary for all to read.

i got this strange fantasy of wanting this blog to be read by many others around the world.. wouldn't it be nice?

crap, she went for a masectomy!

2008-04-20T07:49:00.000-07:00

I didn't know that ms yong went for a masectomy...(which explains why her female anatomy has a vital flaw) The whole world knows it know.. Ok, not really the whole world technically, just the whole school. And you know what? I think she deserves it for her stupid racist comments. Read the re-enactment below and you'll soon enough understand why I hate this teacher soooo friggin' much.

RE-ENACTMENT:

KEN (thai guy): ms yong, who passed the english test?
MS YONG: definitely not you or the koreans or the burmese people in the class.

what kind of teacher would say that to her class?!!!!!

She is definitely enlisted on the very super duper rare teachers I have met in my life list that says stuff that is so offensive and racist to students.

I really really hate racist *dick-heads* for being racist! Can we just stop hating each other for differences in our skin colour and just accept everyone as who they are from their character...?!

Oh for godsake, I really don't know how else to say how much I wanna condemn all the racist and homophobic people off the planet Earth.

I support every gay and lesbian and other unclassified genders. You guys don't even harm a fly and you're being hated by people who are straight.

WHATEVER HAPPENED TO LIVING IN A PEACEFUL WORLD LEADING SIMPLE LIVES AND SEARCHING FOR THE TRUE MEANING OF LIFE?

arghh.

2008-04-07T21:02:00.000-07:00

I'm sick. This morning I ate koko krunch before going to school. Then at PE, I puked. Haha, so much for the energy koko krunch promised. =.="

And because of the stupid koko krunch, I didn't get to finish the 7 1/2 rounds of NAPFA. Super shitty.

I HATE RAZEENA!!!!
I can't wait for razeena to get lost from Pioneer Sec. She totally sucks balls. Yesterday, I was pointing out the rythmn of the band song we're performing, it was totally screwed up. Then she still felt that her rythmn was correct... Some people just won't give up would they?

I just learnt about communism, about the equality of their communist theories. Everyone was equal and standing on the same ground. Yes, communism has its disadvantages but still I believe that their theory of equality should be taught to everyone, especially the youths like razeena. (I hate her for being so hard-headed and her attitude problems)

She doesn't realize that she's wrong. I told her off so many times but she just keeps saying that "Hey, I'm your senior, you should respect me. You are my junior you know."

Hmmph, age doesn't matter as far knowledge is concerned. For some people, they just want to have more authority by using their age as an excuse. I don't care, I just want to give opinions, thats all. And I don't care if I'm a minority. Never mind, sooner or later, they'll learn. I hope.

new post!!!

2008-04-07T08:10:00.000-07:00

Finally, after a long time of not blogging, I'll start to blog again!
Haha, as if this is a piece of good news, maybe neutral news yes, but not good or bad. (IGNORE THIS)

I've been addicted to this website I've signed up at. Its called Viwawa. OK, just ignore the weird sounding name because never ever judge a book by its cover.

Viwawa. Its a website where you can socialize and interact with other gamers through different games. There's Stwack, Match It, Big 2.5, Checkmate, Wahjong, Sushido and Zany Bridge. The games are super-addicitive so you gotta check 'em out.

My friend intro me to the game a few weeks ago more of pester me to join actually. (sorry Adam! :P)
Then, that was the turning point of my life. Ok, I know this sounds so major and whatever, but you really gotta try it out.
Days after the first few games, I just can't stop thinking about my Wawa. So yes, thats how I got hooked on to the website.

cake recipe hounding!!! so tiring.

2008-03-29T07:32:00.000-07:00

For all those baking enthusiasts out there, how do you find a simple chocolate cake recipe? Nowadays, the culinary world is so caught up with giving out fancy chocolate cake recipes that they tend to forget the simplest original chocolate cake recipe.

Its shitty. Super duper shitty. 'Cos I need to find a cake recipe and I'm intending to bake a chocolate or cheesecake recipe. And the cheesecake recipes are way more complicated than the chocolate cake recipes. So the only option left is to bake a normal chocolate cake with no frills.

I hate doing recipe hounding!!! Arggh, its so frustrating, just searching more than 20 times on the search engine just to look for a basic rich chocolate cake recipe. If I find a recipe, then suddenly I realize that there's another flaw, its either too time-wasting to bake or it contains an ingredient that we don't have here in Singapore.

For a chocolate cake recipe that needs less than 2 hours to bake, this really is super damn frustrating and the searching and typing out of the cake name I'm looking for is taking a toll on my neck muscles(its tensing up cos I can't look up much while typing).

This really sucks balls.*sigh sigh*

WILL SOMEONE JUST TELL ME A BASIC CHOCOLATE/CHEESECAKE CAKE RECIPE FOR GODSAKE?!

My back is aching from the 2 hours of recipe hounding and typing so much. Sheesh. Soon I'll maybe get grey hairs from the stress of it all. =.=""""

Emo is just misunderstood...

2008-03-25T06:44:00.000-07:00

Emo is a subculture. Yes, its true, its a subculture. But for people who have problems and are on the verge of feeling like dying, its a way of life. We don't slash our wrists with blades for a completely ludicrous reason. Emo is becoming a trend and a lot of teens are trying to be in the 'scene'/'emo' look by slashing wrists, wearing skinny jeans and tight-fitting clothes. Emo is simply misunderstood as a 'trend' these days.

In the past, original emos don't have the luxury of an outlet to let go of all their emotions, so slashing is a way to relieve their pain. They don't feel the pain, well, not literally, but in doing so, they know that the pain on the surface is less than the pain they have to face inside, emotional abuse, etc.

It is the hyper-sensitivity that emos are called sissies, lesbians and so on. Well, we have to be in their shoes to really understand what they go through. Emos have a lack of self-esteem, and by making out with other fellow emos of the same gender they are showing hyper-sensitivity to others around them. Emo friends are the best friends you can ever have.

The death of Emily Rose

2008-03-23T21:45:00.000-07:00

There's this new movie Ms Lin showed us, The Exorcism of Emily Rose. Emily Rose is a mentally ill patient. She gets a scholarship in school, blah, blah, blah...Then comes the exciting part, Emily Rose is so called 'possessed' by a ghost. Lawyers, doctors and even a priest attends to her but they still can't get the ghost or mental illness to be cured from her.

Its saddening because soon Emily Rose will die because of the 'illness' or whatever that is bothering her.

Quite a scary movie for one that originates from the US. And its based on a true story.

Poster ad courtesy of Sony Pictures.

New hot stories.

2008-03-23T07:41:00.000-07:00

I'm back to gossiping over teachers because someone is wanting juicy gossip. (I should be paid for sniffing up sensational stories from the staffroom. :P)

Actually, I got this piece of info from my usual hangout friends. Quite long ago, about last 2 weeks, I heard that one of the female teachers, Ms XXXXX is a lesbian. Holy crap! It was shocking, yeah, but to some extent I think its just another low potential to-be-true rumour, made up for the sake of the student body's entertainment.

This teacher is quite OK looking, but how can people make up stories of her. Yeah, she always speaks with an extra accent and stuff, but hey, other than that she's never offended anyone. I won't give extra details or personal characteristics of this particular teacher to keep her identity safe. Hey, teachers also need privacy OK?

And there's another piece of gossip coming up its making quite a lot of noise in the lower sec and upper sec students. Its quite a widescale gossip actually. I'm saying this because it concerns the principal. Yes, you read it right, the PRINCIPAL.

I hear that he's getting a tad too racist and hiring more teachers and relief teachers of his own race. Its saddening to see other teachers leave us just to be replaced with the indian teachers. I'm not hating indians here, but seriously, the big man is way over the limit...

My art teacher and geography teachers have been sacked to other schools by him. After contacting my ex-teachers they told me about this 'interesting' method of his. He will give lots of work to the teachers he's going to sack, and when they just can't cope with the amount of work he's given, he will simply sack 'em. Through this way, he's so called giving lots of 'opportunities' for the teachers to excel in their area of teaching.

To say the least, I'm quite impressed by the way he's using his 'tactic' to sack 'em teachers.

Teachers gossip!!!

2008-03-22T07:41:00.000-07:00

Toilet aunties never bother to put the toilet roll in the toilets do they?
And toilets reek like hell. I don't understand, how can they do this to us students?!!!Why us??! (I'm sooo melodramatic)

Level 1 toilets are so creepy, I just can't help feeling weird stuff. I don't know, especially the girls' toilet near the canteen. Its super damn dark and there's not even fans. I've heard of rumours that the 5th cubicle of that particular toilet is haunted cos a girl was pregnant but she went and flushed down the pre-mature foetus into the toilet bowl. Its true the 5th cubicle is locked but I'm not sure to say that the story is true cos the if the girl was pregnant, why should she come to school?

Oh ya, there was one guy in the school's ex-soccer team, he was struck by lightning and died at the spot in the school field. This one is a true story. Even the ex-teachers say that he died there. Freaky... Sometimes they said the guy's spirit could be seen still wandering there at the field at night.

shop till ya drop

2008-03-17T07:31:00.000-07:00

me and normala went out to the national library yesterday to study. SO FUN!!!!!!!!!

POWER!

we were talking about how loud and irresponsible the girls at the library were.
I think we can become DJs one day. LOL.

ok thats all. Today im quite lazy to write much. Sorry hor.

Long time no post.

2008-03-14T07:07:00.000-07:00

Its been a long time since I last posted an entry, so I'm very sorry to anyone who even bothers to read this crap(my entries). Thank you very very much if you have been reading, I've really got no time to tag people.

Its a bore when you keep posting and nothing special or nice happens. BORING!!!!

OK, so here it goes. Happy Birthday to Mr Kwek, Hasimah and Putri, who celebrated their birthdays on 2 march, 9 and 12 march respectively. Got no time to really get a pressie. My maths is flunking, my CA report sucks (2 A1s, 2 B2s , 1 B3, 1 F9 for maths!), what can get worse?

Oh yes, I just went on another fun-filled shopping spree!!!
It was more of browsing spree. A hundred bucks in my hand and I was out to get stuff just yesterday.

Bought more skinny jeans, 2 black shirts, studded belt(I.LOVEEEE.IT~~~), fire engine red suspenders! Woohoo, shopping has indeed prove once again that it is an effective stress-reliever!
Ok whatever you've just read up here is all bullshit. But it really happened. OK I'm crapping up.

I LOVE PAUL TWOHILL! he rocks to da core. Like hardcore rock on!

I want to live simply without having any worries. I often think, what is life?
Now I've got the answer, life is constantly being surrounded by this thing called air, food and water. Thats all.

Don't you guys get it? THERE'S NO TRUE MEANING TO LIFE. All our lives we've been chasing money, statuses, that we forget the most simplest of things, just living simply and appreciating the beauty of nature around us.

Even now, the earth is dying and no one gives a political damn over this piece of land. We're so used to people instructing us what to do, no initiative at all. But now the Earth is rapidly decreasing, maybe soon to just a pile of floating meteorites. And even in the united nations, not all countries participating are pledging to reduce the amount of carbon emissions. And they dare call it a peace project? My arse.

I should write a book on political leaders and their miserable lives, never working a day of their life unless an urgent situation sets in... I don't care, it just isn't right. Not all but some of them only.

Maybe this is God's only way of making us think of life in deeper context and not just look forward to living our own lives as snobs and making us care a bit about the world.

...

2008-03-04T06:02:00.000-08:00

Gonna form up a band of ma own soon! :DDDDDD !!!!

Yes, finally. The moment I've been waiting for. I GET TO BE A DRUMMER! OK, I know you're like raising your eyebrows and looking "Huh?" but its a lifelong ambition. Finally, I set a milestone for myself. Haha, I made it sound as if I caught Mas Selamat or something.

Not allowed to contact ex-conductor!!!

2008-03-04T05:55:00.000-08:00

What the hell of a rule is this? Its utter nonsense. I don't understand at all why the school won't let us contact our ex-conductor anymore. Is he such a bad influence that we can't even keep in touch with our own ex-conductor???

I'm questioning the authority of the school and challenge anyone from the school's department heads and school advisory committees to step forward and tell me why. Its not like its wrong or even sinful maybe to say "hi" to a friend right?

You guys can go ahead with your idiotic plans and rot in hell.

I'm not listening to a word you say. You want to expel me? Fine. I will be so damn happy to get out of a school with such low standards.

Excuse me, my PSLE agg. was 230 for all you know.

Call me rebellious, or anything you want. I'M NOT GONNA BE YOUR DUMB*SS SLAVE.

Singapore wins the YOG bid!!!!

2008-02-21T04:50:00.000-08:00

Woohoo! I was so heartfelt when the Olympic Committee person in Switzerland announced that Singapore had won the bid. It was quite surprising because we were all expecting Moscow to win the bid as Moscow is such a large country, and this gives them an extra advantage over Singapore.

Anyway, who says an island 647KM can't win a bid against such a large country?

What is the four letter word in teens' minds?

2008-02-18T22:27:00.000-08:00

L-O-V-E. A four lettered word that always captivates people. Just the word makes us happy. Or sad, for some people who are unattached.

I'm talking about relationship love not general love. Lurrve. Its a complex feeling squeezed into four letters. Love, what's it like? Happy, mushy, emo perhaps?

Hmm, I can't really describe what is love literally. Its very very super hard. Cause for different people, the feeling varies.

"It can describe an intense feeling of affection, an emotion or an emotional state. In ordinary use, it usually refers to interpersonal love."

Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Love

Love, its a feeling you just can't describe.

hopeless/ Intro.

2008-02-17T07:15:00.000-08:00

OK, I admit my maths is super weak. Its at the stage where I don't think I can even change the fact that it will ever improve.

Ok, enough of two short negative sentences, I haven't really remembered to intro before I got into writing my first post so here it goes...

My full name: [Private cos of certain unforeseen reasons.] Nurul
Date of Birth: 24 may 1993
Nationality: Singaporean

Interests: Parkour, extreme sports such as BMX-ing...So on..., watching TV. I'm a self-confessed TV Head. [hehe..], looking at hawt pictures of my idols [guys la], blackjack.

Confessions: I like guys with big eyes. SO CUTE!!! Smart dressed, guys in shorts excite me! Hahaha... Certain teachers are so cute[especially the guys], I can't resist ogling a bit. :P
[I know I'm naughty naughty...], seen M18 content before, I actually like maths[just that I'm weak in maths], I wait for guys to come after me, not me going after them, chinese guys are a plus. Haha, I don't know, chinese guys with big eyes are so rare and super-cute!!! Kawaii ne!

Friendster: link is beside this post on the right.

I'm 1.63m tall. Weight can I keep a secret? Ok, I'm between 60 to 65kg. Damn, I'm overweight.

Can get quite horny at times. Haha...

My all-time favourite comedian is..... HOSSAN LEONG! woots!

Total Defence Day/ eat less day...Haiz!

2008-02-15T02:19:00.000-08:00

Today in school there was total defence day. Quite boring though, not much to do not even eat!

Total Defence Day is celebrated cos Singaporeans have to commemorate the day when we fell to the Japanese Occupation. It happened on 15 February 1942, when the Japanese soldiers attacked from Singapore's south part, instead of the north of Singapore, which the British were so sure they were going to attack from. (Over-confidence...Haiz, it kills.)

So as a result, Singapore was colonized by the Japanese. And so, Singapore was once again colonized but this time by the very strict (I don't want to say mean cos there might be Japanese people reading this, who knows?) Japanese, who mercilessly killed any betrayers or opposers in sight. Before the Japanese, Singapore was controlled by the British.

We should appreciate whatever food we have now because there might just be another war, and we can't risk being unprepared cos Singapore's just a tiny island, located at the very heart of the Malay Archipelago.

Thanks to the people who made this video and Hossan, you rock! Great lyrics... :D

'We Live In Singapura' Song

Debating workshop/My ambitions

2008-02-13T07:13:00.000-08:00

Today there was this debate workshop that all the sec 3s in my level had to attend. It was super-duper boring.

Maybe cos I already knew how to debate and this was blabbering all about the basic stuffs over again.

My mum is nagging again. Its so morbid how school work has to be done bla bla bla. I hope I casn just quit school. But I'll never give up. I need to get a job as a camp facilitator. Its my dream job. I can go on camps like everyday without having to see a piece of stupid paperwork again.

And the best part is I can avoid seeing my family! Woots.

Voices! lalala~...

2008-02-12T02:27:00.000-08:00

I lurrve to sing!!!

My inspiration is Mariah Carey!
She rawkks to the core!

Her singing voice is so powerful and so very expressive. When I heard her songs for the first time, I was just so amazed. She could even reach the highest note without any hesitation!

Thats the main reason why I thought of joining my school choir called 'Voices'. I have passion and with that, I hope I can go far. Singing in a choir is like a dream come true for me.

The first time I went to choir practice, I was quite nervous coz I didn't know anyone there except for my friend from sec 1 Xin Yi.

Then came the worst part, I had to sing in front of the whole choir!!!
I was a freshie and there I was, standing up with clammy and cold fingers nervously shivering in the cold air-con room.
When I started to sing everyone was quiet, which gave me quite a scare coz I'm not used to singing in font of a crowd of unfamiliar faces.

I was so damn nervous! But anyway, I just sang my heart out with the chorus part of the song, 'When you believe' originally sung by Mariah Carey.

I don't know what the instructor, Mr Andre Tan thought of my singing, but I was so nervous about the result. Until now, I'm still curious on which position I'll be put in...*sigh*

I hope the judgment will come soon...

*************************************************************************************

FACT OF THE DAY: 3RD LONGEST WORD IN ENGLISH

pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis :

a disease caught by breathing in fine silica dust particles from the after effect of volcanic eruptions.

Sec 3 pressure!!!

2008-02-11T06:41:00.000-08:00

Woah, I didn't expect to get so much pressure in sec 3. I think 1 day I'm going to buckle real bad under the load! *sigh sigh*

BY THE WAY...IN SINGAPORE NOW... :

I read abt the recent inflation of taxes and stuff and how the govt. is saying that this helps the lower-income families to keep on getting more rebates and stuff. I just don't get it. If you already inflate the prices and taxes, then how do these families cope??? (And to say that the inflation actually helps the people.) Don't really know why I suddenly wanted to read economy stuff. Sudden cravings, I think. LOLs.

Nowadays newspapers are getting more and more boring. To think of it, the journalists just write mainly stuff about the government. Not much good news happening now huh?

Blogging is way fun. Its like, you get to share your life in front of like, say, millions of other netizens who come across your web. Its rare but occasionally, a lot of people will start to read your blogs. That is if you have good material to type about.

Ok, I'm going to sleep cos it says 10.54pm in my country right now.

bye! :)
leave comments please! :D